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#1
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I don't know if this will trigger anyone, so it's there just in case.
I've been working with my therapist on overcoming my eating disorder, but I still really have a hard time letting myself go over my allotted calories per day. Today I've only had a minimal calories worth of food, but I still feel guilty and angry with myself even though it's under my allotted amount! Sometimes I feel like I'm getting worse when I'm supposed to be getting better. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
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I'm Ria.
![]() "Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all." -Jo Rowling "We all live in hiding. In one way or another, each of us conceals pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it, others because they don't like being seen. And then there are the special cases, the ones who hide because...because...because they just want someone to care enough to look for them." -Mary Shannon "Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." "Impossible only happens when the heart takes over." Last edited by Christina86; May 15, 2012 at 02:00 AM. Reason: numbers are not permitted in this forum |
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#2
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hey Ria, it was the same for me for a long time. keep working with your therapist and meantime, don't be so hard on yourself, recovery doesn't happen overnight.
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![]() Ria_13
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#3
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How did you finally overcome it?
__________________
I'm Ria.
![]() "Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all." -Jo Rowling "We all live in hiding. In one way or another, each of us conceals pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it, others because they don't like being seen. And then there are the special cases, the ones who hide because...because...because they just want someone to care enough to look for them." -Mary Shannon "Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." "Impossible only happens when the heart takes over." |
#4
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with a lot of hard work and the support of close friends. by finally realizing my anorexia was partly a way of punishing myself and partly coz my life was so out of control, i felt what went into my body was the only thing i could control. by finally believing friends who told me it's what's on the inside that counts and to stop freaking out about what i looked like outside. but finally being able to realize food is not an enemy that controls me, i can control it ... but to a sensible level. and the realization that if i didn't fight this, i'd eventually die from it. so i had to decide, what did i care more about ... living or slowly killing myself.
i started out with things with minimal calories until i could tolerate the thought of eating. like my doctor pointed out i used to love satsumas and they're full of vit c and fibre, and she gave other similar examples whereby you could eat all you could stomach and still not reach your medically advised calorie count. fresh fruit, fresh veg, undressed salad. ok, so i still only eat undressed salad lol but i remind myself, at least i ate it, it's an achievement. it took many years and lots of support but i finally got there. Last edited by Christina86; May 15, 2012 at 02:01 AM. Reason: numbers are not permitted in this forum |
![]() buttrfli42481, Ria_13
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#5
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Ria- I think that at some point in recovery we all go through what you are feeling. I am 3 months out of the hospital and still can't bring myself to eat what I am supposed to. I am getting too close to having to be hospitalized again if my weight keeps dropping. The one thing that is keeping me motivated is my daughter. She has a lot of events coming up and I don't want to miss them. If you can find something to motivate you to beat your ed, it helps. You are going to have days where you struggle to eat what you are supposed to, and you are going to have days where you don't. It's ok, that's what recovery is. Take it one bite at a time. Tell yourself that food is medicine. That is how I have to look at it.
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![]() Ria_13
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#6
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Ria: I can't be a much help because I'm in the same situation. I'm seeing a T and still restricting foods I'm don't allowed myself to eat more that so many calories and I'm happy with that. Hang in there and look for the help you need.
surviving15 Last edited by Christina86; May 15, 2012 at 02:01 AM. Reason: numbers are not permitted in this forum |
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