can you relate?

only my mom, my doctor and my councilor know i have been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. i have been struggling with this killer for 4 months. i have been learning to grasp hold of reality and face the fact that if my mom didnt take me to the hospital i would be dead. i am 13 and didn't weigh much when admitted to the hospital. when i get on the scale the doctors have me turn around so im not obssed with the number of pounds i weigh. after i eat i have to fill out a food log. i am supposed to keep track of how many calories i eat. im not allowed to excersie so i was taken out of gym class for school. im not sure where to turn with my anorexia. but reading the book "a brave girl eating" by harriet brown. it also helps to keep a journal.
***stay strong we can conqour this together***

I'm glad your mother was aware enough of your weight issues & got you to the hospital so you can get the care you need......changing your thoughts & actions at the age of 13 is a lot easier than after years & years & years of harmful restricting.

I am sorry that at your age you feel the necessity to control your weight like that. Hope your psychologist will be able to help you work through your reasoning why you feel the need.

Being much older when I started dealing with anorexia.....the one thing I have come to realize is that the control it takes to stay at a healthy weight.....not gaining too much & not loosing too much takes much greater control than just controlling the restriction of eating......so if your anorexia is dealing with a control issue......thinking about being in even greater control to be at a healthy weight might be a place to start. Your psychologist should be focusing on what your causes are for feeling the need to be anorexic......& that really should be where to turn.

My anorexia is caused by stress & feeling so sick that I can't get food down without feeling so sick....so then I don't eat because I can't stand to get sick (no bulimia issues here). I have been in the hospital with central line & IV nutrition more times than I can remember counting......one time the Dr putting in the central line actually punctured my lung. There are all kinds of physical dangers that come with anorexia & even the treatment for it.

I have come to make sure that I don't start loosing too much weight as it's easy to get started down that path.....I also make sure I don't start gaining too much weight when I am able to eat again.......it's definitely takes a lot of self control to stay at the healthy weight & eat healthy foods......but it's worth it because the option of dying because of anorexia is not a good choice.

The place to turn is follow the suggestions of your treatment group & your psychologist who should be helping you work on your why?. Also realize that if you really have any goals in life...you need to be healthy to achieve those goals.....& you need to be alive to achieve them also.

I know how hard this is, but it would truly help to tell a close friend. My best friend is anorexic and cuts herself, and one day she finally told me and then I told her my secret as well, I cut myself as well. We both benefit from this relationship and it is better than a therapist, because they understand you better even if they don't know what you are going through. We also make some cash by making bets on who cuts first and we have a couple deals, one, we won't kill ourselves, two, if I don't cut she has to eat.

i recently told my whole family in fearing they would feel ashamed of me and turn away, but no they are supporting me till i conqour this thing

dear eskilover i hope u join my chat room for eating disorders

i passed out last friday because i didnt eat anything and i was scared i turned white and i felt like i was diying all my friends screamed when the nurse cme in with a wheel chair and pulled me out of class

Horses are a huge part of my life......My foal was born just before I when through everything with my mother's dying of cancer & the anorexia I ended up struggling with because of the trauma with the home care person & all the stress. By that spring, my mother had died & I was out of the hospital.....but was still passing out...... in the stall with my foal. It was not only dangerous for me, but it scared my foal. I struggled with being able to eat for several years after that.....but I always made sure that I ate enough to be ok around my horses.....I just couldn't do that to them nor to myself.

Just make sure not to get caught up in the drama & the care that is received when the needed care is given after passing out. Sometimes looking back, I know that I was getting good care when I ended up in the hospital......maybe a care that I wasn't getting in my marriage. I think there are a lot of hidden emotions that are all part of our focus on anorexia. Not saying that it's an attention seeking action.....but sometimes the feeling of caring that we get from others when we are being cared for is definitely something that we are in need of. Something I didn't think of at the time, only looking back at the situation.

I can relate somewhat... I was 19 the first time I entered eating disorder treatment but did not necessarily have to keep track of all my calories because I became too obsessed with that... I remember having to fill out food logs about how I felt before I ate and how I felt after I ate... I know it is not easy but it sounds like you are taking some good steps and it is good that your mother recognized your need for help...