[utterlyconfused]

I really need some advice on how to control triggering thoughts and how to overcome anorexia. I promised my friend that I would try going 40 days without starving myself. I have to eat 3 times a day and eat properly portioned food. I didn't realize what I was getting myself into until this morning. On the way to work, I was almost in tears because I realized that I would have to eat today when I usually fast from Thursday until Sunday. All day I had thoughts of how I could get around this promise by eating as little as I could while still meeting the guidelines she set out for me. I know its to help me get better, but I don't want to do it anymore. On the other hand, I know I have to get better because I don't want to wind up living my life going in and out of hospitals, and going through treatments to help me get better. I just don't want to get back to the weight or size I used to be/:

[kbrimull]

I'm sorry that you're struggling with this, but you said it yourself: you know that your friend is trying to help you and that you don't want to be in and out of the hospital all your life. For one thing, eating healthy foods will definitely make you feel better than junk food. Also, maybe you could talk to your friend to readjust the goals to where you start with smaller portions and work your way up to full meals. Sometimes its easier to climb a mountain if you just focus on one footstep at a time.

I hope this helps and remember to stay strong! You are beautiful and you have people who care about you!