[bipolar gemini]

I don't have the energy right now to exercise (in a deep depression) but i look in the mirror and all i see is a fat (even tho im not considered "fat") disgusting slob that needs to lose weight. So my solution?...not eating, and if i do eat, i go throw it up anyways. i know this isn't healthy, but in my mind neither is my obesity. the only way i can lose weight, especially since im not exercising, is to starve. this is a way to self punish or self hurt i know, but at the same time the hurt, the pain in my stomach....feels good. but what really hurts is this thinking, i'm trapped in it and can't seem to break it.
just writing here, in hopes of finding out im not alone.

[Travelinglady]

I'm sure you are not alone. Have you considered talking to a therapist? As you know, what you are doing can lead to all sorts of serious health problems.

[HonestlyLying]

I'm sorry to hear you're in the grip of "Ana the Dictator" and YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I try to remember that eating some nutrients is actually a faster way to lose weight because your Base Metabolic Rate drops like a rock when starving. That's not supposed to be a weight loss tip, it's a suggestion for you to eat instead of starving.

As for the depression and excerise, I can totally relate to the inability to function normally. I know I obsess over my death when I'm depressed and little else coupled with no motivation to do anything but punish myself.

Lauren Ann