[awesomeness05]

I don't want to be an attention seeker or have pity, I hate it when people pity me. but its tempting to do ED behaviors, cause maybe then my problems would "matter". or maybe i'd "fit in," as sick as that is.
the thing is its never enough. its just like your "ideal weight." no matter what you do with an ED its never enough. I'm not claiming to have an ED, I don't know only a professional can decide that. But I realize i have problems with body image and with food...and I'm scared. its not all glamorous like everyone makes it look. and I just want to know....are these feelings people with EDs or disordered eating, which I have, experience? I feel so guilty for feeling like this.
please, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't comment.

[kaliope]

no, it is never enough. people with body image issues cant see when it is enough. my sister had an ed and she just kept starving herself. felt that if she was skinny enough she could get a boyfriend. she was using a walker she was so weak., I am like what man is going to be attracted to a woman using a walker? and she couldn't see it. she died in January. she was only 49. she had destroyed her body from all the abuse of her ed. the laxative abuse alone made it so that her intestines couldn't function and she had multiple surgies removing blockages and she couldn't eat anymore. she was hooked up to a pump at her stomach that sucked out the food because she couldn't digest it anymore. she was in the hospital all the time getting potassium iv's because she couldn't keep her levels up. she was a mess. yet she still thought, with all these health problems, hooked up permenantly to medical devices, in the hospital montly if she was skinny, she could get a man. she was skinny, she never saw it, and she never got a man. she died alone. it just isn't worth it. if you are not getting help for your body image issues, please do. it is not worth your life.

[msandsm]

Originally Posted by kaliope

no, it is never enough. people with body image issues cant see when it is enough. my sister had an ed and she just kept starving herself. felt that if she was skinny enough she could get a boyfriend. she was using a walker she was so weak., I am like what man is going to be attracted to a woman using a walker? and she couldn't see it. she died in January. she was only 49. she had destroyed her body from all the abuse of her ed. the laxative abuse alone made it so that her intestines couldn't function and she had multiple surgies removing blockages and she couldn't eat anymore. she was hooked up to a pump at her stomach that sucked out the food because she couldn't digest it anymore. she was in the hospital all the time getting potassium iv's because she couldn't keep her levels up. she was a mess. yet she still thought, with all these health problems, hooked up permenantly to medical devices, in the hospital montly if she was skinny, she could get a man. she was skinny, she never saw it, and she never got a man. she died alone. it just isn't worth it. if you are not getting help for your body image issues, please do. it is not worth your life.

Thanks. I know your words weren't directed at me, but they were helpful anyway.

[eskielover]

Also I found that just the weight loss & watching the scale go down in numbers was almost an addicting feeling even without body image issues. Even my MIL when I was first married started on this diet that really worked well for her & she had problems stopping the weight loss.....& I know for me that stress is my trigger because it makes me fell so sick that I can't eat without the nausea & I HATE getting sick to my stomach.....so I end up not eating......& as soon as the weight starts going down......it's like I keep it going sometimes even after I'm through the stress....& my weight is so low that I can't afford to do that & stay healthy.

To answer your other question....yes, there can be those who do need to be recognized or they are around others who have ED issues in their life & want to be like them to "fit in"......I know that after going through a trauma that I went through when my mother was dying of cancer......being in the hospital for IV nutrition.....almost felt good to have someone taking care of ME & caring about me after everything that I went through on top of having a bad marriage & a dysfunctional H.....it wasn't intentional to get the care, but it sure felt good & that good feeling can be reason enough to continue the behavior for some.....it took me several years to recover from that especially since I ended up having some PTSD issues that lingered on & I even struggle with at times now 9 years later.

The thing with ED's is that there are a lot of reasons it starts....& there are lots of reasons it continues....but they are as individual as the people who are struggling with it.....there is no book that defines what makes a person get or keep an ED.......that's why therapy is so very important.