[ameliaxxx]

I feel triggered and just really want to throw away 2 years worth of recovery just to starve myself again and be skinny. Which would cost me my running career. HELP! Talk me out if it. Why can't I have both?

[Crazy Hitch]

I feel the dilemma you're in amelia

I know only too well how we're faced with choices in life, and whilst we're free to make choices, we are not free from the consequences of the choices that we make.

I know, deep down inside, in the long run - this is not a road that you want to travel down again.

The guilt, the heartache, the emotional punishment in your mind if you do this again ...

When you've been this good for this long ...

Your mental health and wellbeing is so important, and I really feel, deep down inside, your recovery has been to significant for you to even attempt to think to walk down that path again.

Don't go there.

Keep moving forward.

We're here for you each step of the way!

[ameliaxxx]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

I feel the dilemma you're in amelia

I know only too well how we're faced with choices in life, and whilst we're free to make choices, we are not free from the consequences of the choices that we make.

I know, deep down inside, in the long run - this is not a road that you want to travel down again.

The guilt, the heartache, the emotional punishment in your mind if you do this again ...

When you've been this good for this long ...

Your mental health and wellbeing is so important, and I really feel, deep down inside, your recovery has been to significant for you to even attempt to think to walk down that path again.

Don't go there.

Keep moving forward.

We're here for you each step of the way!

Thanks!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[waggiedog]

Hello dear Amelia. PLEASE don't even consider going back to weight loss behaviour because it's so very addictive as you know too well. It won't only be just for a day and won't stay at cutting out a few things ~ it def WILL escalate fast into a full blown eating disorder again. Hooligan is right, you've been fighting to stay well for quite some time now, it would be tragic to spoil you're good work. Hugs and love, as ever. Xx

[ameliaxxx]

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Hello dear Amelia. PLEASE don't even consider going back to weight loss behaviour because it's so very addictive as you know too well. It won't only be just for a day and won't stay at cutting out a few things ~ it def WILL escalate fast into a full blown eating disorder again. Hooligan is right, you've been fighting to stay well for quite some time now, it would be tragic to spoil you're good work. Hugs and love, as ever. Xx

You're all right. This would be the forth official relapse if I started again. Knowing me, I would actually die this time. It's been years since, and time has only made me angrier and less emotionally stable. I would be more aggressive this time around and it wouldn't take long for me to get below my lowest weight and end up in the hospital again. My heart is already ****ed up now and I'm "normal". Definitely wouldn't take much AT ALL.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[eskielover]

If you have a T, maybe it would be a good thing to work on the trigger. I know there are many triggers that get to me.....the highest on the list is stress & long term stressful things in my life are the worst because I can't get over them before the weight loss becomes drastic. I have learned that I have to deal with the issues that are causing the triggers of there is no way of controlling them or their results even though I try to fight.

I have a wonderful support network surrounding me now though it's still difficult.

It's easy to say don't go there....& to fight it....it's a whole other thing for you to be able to handle what that trigger is that's causing you to feel that way in the first place.