[MinusMan]

She said I have a sociopathic personality,because I'm cold,manipulative,agressive,etc.But I think she's too incompetent and/or shallow to grasp my real problem.I was physically abused and systematically insulted as a child by my parents,and for as long as I remember my sole drive was to be superior and to dominate people around me.My studies,my extreme exercise routine,everything is fueled by this desire.Whenever I talk to someone or see people on the streets I just think about how much better I am than them.I also think about how stupid they are and how they **** up their own lives.I also feel constant aggression and a desire to physically and emotionally hurt everyone,even my acquaintances and it's not a neurotic unhealthy type of aggression,as I really believe they deserve it.People **** up their lives and drag their ''friends'' down with them.They're all full of jealousy for each other and hypocritical ******** and yet they attempt to hide and bury all that instead of letting it out and accepting their-selves.My therapist wants me to do this too-to suppress my natural impulses and act ''normal'' and ''civilized'',instead of helping me solve the problems I talk to her about,like getting rid of annoying people and winning conflicts.I thought the therapist was supposed to be on my side,meaning that she should help me do things my way,not force me into her sick twisted fantasy of normality.I mean you also have to consider the source and in this case - she's 24 and already wrinkled,overweight,with thinning hair.Is that normality?She also says I should ''improve'' with age,but I've only been becoming more myself over the years.I feel competitive,full of energy,ready to take on anyone and anything,why can't she see that that's how a guy is supposed to be,not chained down,submissive,cowardly,feminine and pathetic like 90% of the guys out there.Don't you get pissed off how today's standards about people's qualities are so low?Ugly,weak,undeveloped people telling other ugly,weak and undeveloped people how cool they are and vice versa.Normal people aren't even more moral than your average psychopathic serial killer,they only feel empathy when it benefits them,yet they claim they're caring.They lie left and right,yet they claim they're honest.The list goes on.

[pegasus]

You sound very hurt to me. Can you find a different therapist?

[OneEmptyHeart]

You sound a bit like a narcissist as well. Your therapist is there to help you if you feel she isn't helping you then yes consider switching. However I have a strong feeling you're going to like what any therapist has to say to you. Just remember they're there to help you. And helping you sometimes means pointing out things you need to work on regardless if you think they need working on or not.

[-jimi-]

I'd say she is wrong in a way. Normalcy yea, but that has nothing to do with health or what strengths or weaknesses you have. I don't think anyone should strive for normalcy.

Being normal is just having the most common strengths and weaknesses. The world is built around to support those weaknesses and taking those strengths for granted. The ones having other strengths and other weaknesses will seem even disabled sometimes, because society is not made for them.

You can be antisocial and not be born with it. Maybe that is what she thinks. Because being antisocial says nothing about the cause, it more talks about behavior. And if you act a certain way towards people, it might be antisocial.

If you feel the hatred you feel towards other people stem from your own abuse, the therapist should listen to that, IMO. But also, if that is what you feel, then maybe "getting better" will include having a more benign attitude towards other. I think that follows at least.

But really... I don't think normal is a goal, like I said. I don't think you should lose your strengths. Seeing through people's shallow emotions, seeing how they lack in logic, is a good thing. Taking care of your body is too. I can't say I'm particularly good at that, but I'm quite picky with what I eat (no sweets and basically no junk), and people think that is crazy. My care workers encourage me to eat chips. Yea, that is normalcy.

But still trying to improve yourself, we all have weaknesses. If I looked down on other people's weaknesses because I have an easy time doing what they fail at, I have to admit they can do some things I can't do with ease. It can be hard seeing this at first, them being normies and all, but they do have qualities I don't have. So I really have to humble myself a little and admit this.

I know I will never see others as fully worthy, but I learned to see a more nuanced picture. I try to surround myself with people that actually give me something, because me mixing with normies is destructive.

I do think you should be able to be yourself and to make yourself even better.... but.... you also have to accept you do live in a context and so do I, as much as I try to escape. That does mean you have to play the social games. You can't live like a warrior and battle everyone. I know those feelings can be hard to handle, makes you feel all icky not letting them out, unleashing them onto the guilty one. But we can't do that. Or we must do it wisely. You can probably get your point across without causing mayhem.

Your therapist should help you chalk down some rules of behavior, like your own set of morals, and live by them, no matter what you feel about them. Unfortunately, they have to take other people's wellbeing into account, but beside that, give you as much freedom as possible. Some things are just plain wrong to do, like physically hurt people.

I live by my morals (which I find stronger and more stringent than morals of normies), even though I have no real attachment to most people and very little empathy. I respect human life, I try to soothe human suffering when I can, and I try to teach people a more logical approach when I can. I am true to my feelings and I don't lie to myself. I don't let anyone walk all over me, but I have learned not to retaliate unless I felt it was necessary, and then with means no more harmful than was used against me. I freely speak my mind. I try to be true to myself at the same time as I try to at least improve some very minor part of mankind.

Your morals will differ from mine, but maybe think about it. Morals don't have to be something of the heart, it can be about perceived right and wrong or simply what is adaptive.

Now I'm not antisocial so I already have a strength compared to you. People can upset me, either if I feel attacked or I feel their ways are icky, but in general, avoiding too much interaction, people actually don't mean much to me, so I really have no reason to hate them. I'm not sure indifference to people can be taught, but it surely comes in handy!

The real issue is the balancing act between "your" needs and "their" rights. It's not at all about getting normal. Normal is stupid and only serves people who are normal to begin with. They have tried to make me normal several times, but failed. That tells me I am what I am.

Now, this is just my individual take on things, and like I said, I'm not antisocial so I don't have the antisocial standpoint, I just have my own, so take it or leave it.

[FlawedSystem]

i have a tendency to wanna tease antisocial people for doing harm to others as a way of revenge, am i just as bad as them? Shouldn't anti-social people be held at an in-patient facility? I just feel like they're a harm to the public.

Dearest OP--

I have to disagree with your assertion that your therapist is an incompetent moron. From the little I've read of your self-description and assuming it's accurate to reality, you do come off as one with secondary psychopathy. And such a personality quirk does often result from abuse in childhood.

I do agree that a competitive edge and will to strive for something greater is often a strength, but not at the expense of one's happiness and sanity.

Originally Posted by FlawedSystem

i have a tendency to wanna tease antisocial people for doing harm to others as a way of revenge, am i just as bad as them? Shouldn't anti-social people be held at an in-patient facility? I just feel like they're a harm to the public.

No one's responded to this most lovely of gems yet? So sad... Pardon my tardiness. I've been momentarily preoccupied with endeavours of greater importance (read: I got a new videogame). To answer your possibly deliberate attempt to goad us lesser moral characters into a contest of the pissing nature...

You're worse. You see, mortal, my psychopathic kin and I do these things which you deem horrendous because it's our nature. We have no internal "guide" of sorts informing us on what we ought and ought not do. You, on the other hand, ought to know better. (read: Sarcasm.)

[Shanzy]

Originally Posted by FlawedSystem

i have a tendency to wanna tease antisocial people for doing harm to others as a way of revenge, am i just as bad as them? Shouldn't anti-social people be held at an in-patient facility? I just feel like they're a harm to the public.

Well, it would be highly impractical to round up every Antisocial in the world and throw them all in the loony bin - after all, think of the costs. Also, your logic seems to suggest that "normies" can't be a harm to the public, which, in my experience, is a rather erroneous assumption to make. They can be just as dangerous.

[Trippin2.0]

Don't be so quick to dismiss your therapist. You're intelligent, so do the research and see if it adds up. But, if there are other reasons why this therapist isn't working for you, by all means try a new 1 on for size. Take care!

[MinusMan]

Yeah I don't know,my judgement could have been clouded when writing this thread,I almost always feel a constant hate for the people around me,I don't know why,it's not anger or irritation,it's this constant dislike and I constantly find myself being motivated to screw them up,even when I meet someone that I find cool,soon enough I devaluate him in my mind.

[JackMS]

That was a fun read.

"Normal people aren't even more moral than your average psychopathic serial killer,they only feel empathy when it benefits them,yet they claim they're caring.They lie left and right,yet they claim they're honest."

I just have to say... ****ING THANK YOU. I've always seen things this way. Selective selflessness or charitability =/= morality. Now carry on.

This thread should glue some kind of trigger warning as I am getting upset here reading about how other people threat 'normal' people! You definitely have a narcissistic side, I have known one other and all she did was hurt people, sorry but I can't read anymore!

[-jimi-]

It was just an honest discussion. I can't really see how it is triggering. You have been burned by a narcissist so maybe it is in your best interest not to read this section.

True; it's the ASPD support area of the forum for a reason. If I'm not mistaken, there is an area of the forum to support people who have been "victimised" by people with personality disorders. That might be a more suitable area for you.

Thanks and sorry for getting affected by it, I know your are just discussing what you wish and really it is your right! Like you said I will check out that area! Hope I didn't offend anyone!