ASPD and sexual orientation issues

I have sort of sexual orientation issues. Since I was a kid, I've had always find boys as being cute, and at age of 11 I found out I was gay. I am completely ok with that, but for the last two years I have the feeling that I might be heterosexual. At the beginning I was scared, but after I tried to make sex with another boy and I was disgusted, I started to feel I am straight. What makes me still think is that I can't accept that I'm straight, and I look at good-looking men with disgust, yet I still find them prettier than women. Complicated enough, I stare at women although I don't want to. I try to have sexual fantasies with men, but sometimes I turn up to women, and I like it, but I'm kinda frustrated. I call this fear. What sociopathy links here is, since some time I started to think that while having sexual fantasies with women I force myself into the frustration I call fear. Also, I imagine recieving attention from boys, who turn into girls in the fantasies, and sometimes I dream about women, just standing there, or talking... I don't want to complicate things more. I just want to know if ASPD are having such issues.

im sorry no one has responded to your post. i do not have an answer for you either. i am sorry that you are struggling with this issue. what you are calling fear i think is confusion that may be overwhelming you as you do not know how to cope with the feelings you are struggling with. is it possible for you to find a therapist that specializes in sexual identity issues to help you sort this out?

The most interesting thing here is that you were disgusted with trying to have sex with a guy that you were attracted to. What made you feel disgusted? It's definitely strange that you would feel disgusted with having sex with a guy that you were attracted to. Also, you seem like you might be attracted to women but you don't want to be, is that what it is? I think first you need to really just go with your heart and see who it is that you are really attracted to and just experiment with both boys and girls and see what it is that you like!

You could be asexual but biromantic or homoromantic heterosexual. there's a lot of stuff you could be

Hello sociopathbg: I don't know the answer to your question. But, what I do know is that gender identity & human sexuality issues can be very confusing, as well as disconcerting. I see you live in Bulgaria. I don't know what types of mental health services are available to you there. However, if you can see a therapist who is experienced in working with individuals who have concerns surrounding sexual orientation, I think this could be of great value to you. I wish you well...

I think most ASPD are bi. More to choose from that way.

I see you are from Bulgaria. I read this quote from J. Michael Mahoney's site by this Bulgarian psychoanalyst, Julia Kristeva, "sexual identity guarantees our psychic unity,"
Freud thought that everyone had a basic bisexual nature. It is interesting that at Mahoney's website I read that many mammals will practice bisexual relationships as they mature. Humans are the only ones that tend to repress that aspect of themselves and the only one that suffer from mental illness.
For anyone that wants to learn more, Mahoney has both volumes of his book in pdf formant that you can download for free at his website.
Did anyone watch Anderson Cooper's 60 minutes segment on Bonobos a couple of weeks ago?

Well this is a coincidence as I'm self-reflecting on my sexuality now. I'm guy and a virgin but when I fantasize, it's about men, but I primarily prefer women. My taste in porn is all over the place, and it can be anything from lesbians, to gay, to tranny, and everything in between. I would say I could totally see being with guys if it wasn't for the fact that I hate trying to douche my ***. How the hell do you bottom guys put up with it?

Although I tend to prefer women and will always choose one over a man, my frustration is that the types of guys I like tend to be straight(I like pretty boys but I don't like them to be feminine). There's also the fact that I don't like touching fluids unless I deem it necessary, and that I just view humans as disgusting sacks of pus, mucous, blood, bile, muscle, bone, and flesh, and I hate nearly everyone to the point one of my greatest wishes being the complete extermination of all existing life.

For a while I declared myself asexual, and a lot of thoughts and viewpoints I had support it, but my actions sometimes suggest otherwise. I've contemplated the possibility that I might be demisexual.