Not to sound redundant but, opinions on the possibility of having ASPD?

Finally found a forum where I thought I could run some things by people and get a few anonymous opinions, but then I saw that the threat is literally filled with the exact same thing.

Some quick actual health and hospitalization information.. had teenage epilepsy. Insomniac. I was once put in some kind of behavorial clinic for a 72 hour "suicide watch"... that was all a huge misunderstanding, and I was there less than 12 hours. The first doctor to arrive in the morning released me with the pretense that I continue seeing a counselor from MHMR. After a couple of months of that, MHMR informs me that they believe I have antisocial personality disorder, which is something the state is not helping with at the moment. So obviously I threw that out the window immediately just because I know how cheap and shady a lot of our "healthcare system" works.

Fast forward a couple of years, and my stress levels from dealing with all the moronic people I had to at the time at work was driving me nuts, and my neurologist (from the teenage epilepsy) referred me to a psychiatrist. I told her what MHMR had said, along with my thoughts on it. After chatting for while she throws me on a some weird combination of meds, though the two I remember were lithium and trazodone. No idea if that last one is even spelled correctly. She moved, I weened myself off of the meds, and I'm managing quite well now that I've moved and changed jobs. I also use something medicinally at night when I want to actually sleep.

More or less, I have no idea if that diagnosis is even in the ballpark. I can see where it comes from, quite easily actually, but there are certain things that I've read, heard, and/or been told that have me questioning it. First and foremost, I can say that I have little to no empathy for anyone or anything. Honestly, most of the time that someone is giving me some whiney story I just think about something that bothers me so I at least have a facial expression for them to look at. Most of the things people do actually don't make any sense to me. A lot of them, I can understand their reasoning for it, but their reasoning still just seems completely idiotic and/or convoluted.

I actually maintain a pretty high level of honesty most of the time, but it's really just because its the easiest way I've found of keeping attention away from myself, and if needed later on, use that trust to my advantage. The only time this doesn't really apply is to my family. With them, playing a victim works best at times, while intimidation does a much better job others.

There are a lot of other things I can get into about just my personal lifestyle as well (early thirties, live alone, no pets, no plants, etc..) but I think this is more or less a decent intro..

My dilemma is... I know that a lot of this can be characteristic. As in, I know.. that doing these things is.. bad.. bascically. Again, going by what I've read, heard, etc.. if I'm actually like a sociopath of some kind, then I shouldn't know that things I do are wrong, should I?

That's where I'm at a complete loss. The psychiatrist that had me on lithium and trazodone (sp?) never actually said anything along the lines of a diagnosis. And again, a lot of what I've read and heard seems as though I shouldn't know the difference between right and wrong. I know the difference. I just don't agree, understand, or follow it..

Probably a lot of typos in there, operating on very little sleep.

Hello Finch: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Of course, we here on PC cannot diagnose you. However here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives that may be of some interest:

https://psychcentral.com/personality/

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/a...rder/symptoms/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/thera...d-narcissists/

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...lity-disorder/

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/a...der/treatment/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

Absolutely - that is, you can write anything here concerning your mental state, I think, and this is not a threatening place (I’m not clear if that’s what you meant?). If those things might serve to trigger others, you need only cover your sins by using the “trigger” scheme by using an open bracket trigger closed bracket ( ) open bracket backslash trigger closed bracket.

Skeezyks is absolutely correct: we are mostly all bat-shite crazy here and making diagnoses is far beyond our abilities. That said, I am a True Believer in the DSM-5-method of establishing sufficient diagnostic criteria when rendering a diagnosis or diagnoses.

I am, for the most part, of the borderline variety of personality disorders but I have a few criteria only found within the antisocial, so I visit here from time-to-time.

Let’s start with the medications. Trazadone is an ancient antidepressant but it is widely used in modern days as a sleep aid. I take 150mg nightly for that purpose. If you suffered from insomnia, trazadone would have been prescribed for that affliction, probably.

Lithium as a psych drug is usually used as a mood stabilizer. Many of us who have been hospitalized for long periods are usually familiar with the side-effects of the drug if not intimately familiar with its prescription. Along the corridors of mental hospitals probably ⅓ of the patients are doing the ‘lithium shuffle.’ I hate the stuff; it causes me to have brain clouds. Your prescribed dose was likely low and, yeah, it was probably prescribed as a mood stabilizer.

Of course, I’m second-guessing a shrink now joined harmoniously with monks in Sri Lanka so ya gotta take a kind of ‘for what it’s worth’ attitude here.

I’m not certain why you would get an ASPD diagnosis (unless you also tortured and dismembered domestic animals as a child?). Personality disorders are currently undergoing a new scrutiny and may, one day, be classified independently of mental illnesses. ASPD is doubtless the harshest of all disorders within the DSM-5. It is the springboard for psychopaths to flourish and to put the ‘ab’ in abnormal psychology. I’m very surprised that the State of Texas would have such a ‘meh’ attitude for those diagnosed with ASPD. Nonetheless...

“...dealing with all of the moronic people...” Yeah, a shrink might think that a Cluster B personality disorder symptom, but not a symptom of ASPD. We sometimes (well, okay, all of the time) see ourselves as smarter, superior, to others. In the past ten years these attitudes have amplified in the U.S. and given rise to (quite normal*) escalations in nativism, nationalism, racism, elitism, etc. Did this shrink agree with your previous ASPD diagnosis? How long did you see her? I am assuming, again, that trazadone was prescribed for sleep and lithium as a mood stabilizer.

What is it that you sometimes use for sleep? If we are self-medicating NyQuil is our usual first drug of choice with some really fine 100% indica weed in the middle and a fifth of Jack Daniels/shooting H coming in last. Please be specific.

Alright. Lack of empathy, yeah, but it hinges upon your perception, again, that you arebbrighter than others, that others do not reason properly, that their reasoning makes no sense and so they are easily dismissed. I do the same thing, all of the time. This isn’t a lack of empathy but rather a feeling of grandiosity, of being superior to others. That’s my take on it, anyway.

“ ...pretty high level of honesty...” and then you describe the various methods that you use to manipulate others. Not an ASPD symptom.

Now you use the word “sociopath.” Speaking only for myself, I believe that sociopathy springs from narcissistic personality disorder whilst psychopathy is more common amongst the ASPD crowd.

The ability to discern right from wrong is a horrifying burden. It is the burden of those in the psychoanalytic field to determine legal insanity. Or not. It is the burden that we all face in deciding just how much we’re willing to conform to societal norms. You do not give any examples (and I wish that you would!) of the rights and wrongs that you don’t understand or don’t conform to. I have a number of paraphilic disorders that I simply do not believe are disorders but rather lifestyle choices. While sexual sadism is a societal wrong, man, it seems so very right to me when I find just the ‘right’ masochist! That’s just one example of my complete rejection of a societal norm, of distinguishing wrong from right. Can you name one or more?

No, we don’t diagnose any mental or medical conditions here. You really did not go into the behaviors that may have precipitated your initial ASPD diagnosis but a strict reading of the DSM-5 doesn’t seem to saddle you with any ASPD symptoms.

You don’t identify what “these things” that you think bad are. If you’re then that can be a bad thing. Tossing an occasional soda can out of a moving passenger car isn’t really bad, though, and it would probably break the monotony for a state prisoner picking up trash on the highways so it could be a good thing, maybe.

From your overly brief description, you seem to be a manipulative prick with a superiority complex (neither DSM-5 diagnoses). But you feel odd about something or you wouldn’t have come here. You’ve given some history but you’ve not named what is really troubling you; you’ve not written of a single troubling behavior - I hope that you will.

Hope that you return...