[OrangeMoira]

There's a New Year's party tonight held by one of my husband's former coworkers. He'll know about two people and I won't know anyone.

I've avoided doing anything social for over two years besides grabbing a meal with a very small group of classmates a few times. I avoid invitations, or I give "maybe" answers and never go to anything.

When the event is far away, I think, "Sure, sounds fun. I can totally do that. I can just stay a while and leave early, and it will be good for me." But then as it gets closer I am restless, irritable, and think of excuses.

It's tonight and I'm completely terrified at this point. Nothing in particular seems scary...it's the whole thing. I'm overwhelmed with all my control-freak details about what I need to have done before I can go.

I feel so sad and weird, and I just want to stay home where I can relax and not feel all these things. But I don't have good excuses. I'm on break from school--I have all of next week to relax and do whatever!

Positive thoughts: I know once I'm there it won't be horrible, even if the worst happens and no one talks to us and we stand around feeling awkward. At least I will have tried, and I'll feel better because I was around people. And at least I have something to go to. People have mostly given up on trying to get me out; at least my husband gets invited out and I have him to talk to.

Positive thoughts aren't working so well...

[Gus1234U]

some times, it's easier to just go numb, and let hubby lead you to the car,, i agree, once you're there, you will find you have all these social skills that are going unused,, hope you make it, and have a great experience~! best wishes,, Gus

[sundog]

Originally Posted by OrangeMoira

Positive thoughts: I know once I'm there it won't be horrible, even if the worst happens and no one talks to us and we stand around feeling awkward. At least I will have tried, and I'll feel better because I was around people. And at least I have something to go to. People have mostly given up on trying to get me out; at least my husband gets invited out and I have him to talk to.

I love how you are doing such a great job of self-soothing (even if it might not feel as though it is working as well as you would like, it is still great that you are doing this!!)

I have chronic anxiety issues too and I totally understand how weird and anxious you feel right now. But with such a wonderful attitude you can't fail (((((((((OrangeMoira))))))))))

Well done for going to this party even though you are anxious. I know the reward will be that you will feel great afterwards!!! (and hopefully you will also enjoy some moments of the party itself while you are there).

Good luck, and all good wishes for a very Happy New Year!

[wing]

OM, I'm in the same boat, and I'm making a mental list of positive affirmations to help me feel less awkward. My plan is to take special care with my looks so I feel if I'm judged by them at least I know I did my best! I plan to stick close to my husband and TRY to smile naturally. I'm thinking that I have just as much of a reason to be there as everyone else, and everyone is out to enjoy themselves, so I can, too.
I've always looked back on these situations and realized that it is the anticipation that jacks up my anxiety level. I'm going to practice my skills now, before I even get ready. They'll all be in my head before I get there.
We can do it!!

[OrangeMoira]

Thanks everyone! My power went out after I posted, so I couldn't check back last night (or fix my makeup...boo).

The power outage probably kept me from digging my heels in and staying home in the dark! I wish I had read these because I think practicing some affirmations would really have helped. I like "I have just as much of a reason to be there as everyone else." I will keep that in mind!

I do feel so much better for going, and we met some really nice people. Less than five minutes of awkwardness/furious blushing. I was actually brave and traded phone numbers with someone. I have a terrible phone phobia and may not be brave enough to call/answer, but I will really try!!

Wingin' it, I hope your party went well!

I had some disappointing school news this morning, so hearing these supportive words is helping me to focus on the positive and think about my progress this year. Thanks so much and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[Astridetal]

Originally Posted by OrangeMoira

Thanks everyone! My power went out after I posted, so I couldn't check back last night (or fix my makeup...boo).

The power outage probably kept me from digging my heels in and staying home in the dark! I wish I had read these because I think practicing some affirmations would really have helped. I like "I have just as much of a reason to be there as everyone else." I will keep that in mind!

I do feel so much better for going, and we met some really nice people. Less than five minutes of awkwardness/furious blushing. I was actually brave and traded phone numbers with someone. I have a terrible phone phobia and may not be brave enough to call/answer, but I will really try!!

Wingin' it, I hope your party went well!

I had some disappointing school news this morning, so hearing these supportive words is helping me to focus on the positive and think about my progress this year. Thanks so much and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I'm so glad the party went quite well. And now you can think that it is over and you met nice people and you are not required to go to a party soon again. And maybe this good experience even helps you over the threshold to go the next time.

[sundog]

Well done!!!!! (((((((OrangeMoira))))))))) It sounds like you did GREAT!!! And I'm so glad you enjoyed the party!!!!!

Hope your party went well too! (((((((((((wing))))))))