[GreyGoose]

Hi just an update/summary of my situation (I'm basically grasping for answers here)

Ever since a month and seven days ago when my "fear of rabies" hypochondria hit me (a bat flew over my head at night) my level of anxiety has waxed and waned. Some days I'll wake up feeling a bit chilled and jittery but then feel somewhat better as the day progresses only to have my nerves start acting up really bad again and have diarrhea or soft stools (sorry, gross I know).

Then for a week or more I had this "lump-in-throat" sensation which drove me nuts and made me think I DID actually have rabies which in turn, caused me to panic even more. It got much worse after I read an email about rabies and for a day or two I had trouble even swallowing food (which brought on even more panic) but now the throat probs have gone away for the most part (finally!). My guts have been upset from time to time too and I don't know if this is due to having a disease -or- because of all the constant stress, worry, anxiety and tons of meds I've been on (ie; Cipro XR, Lorzepam, Xanax, Nyquil, etc). Can even subconsious fear cause you to have anxiety?. I mean, even if your not trying to think about it?.

The pollen count is extremely high here too and my eyes go from being very dry (and my face feels "tight") to being very watery. My nose is always plugged up too. Sometimes I get some stringy clear goop that I'm able to cough up. I'll be honest, this really sucks )-:.

I have also noticed that sex is difficult and that even if I'm feeling extremely "frisky", I can "get it up" but it won't stay up and when I finally "do the act", it just makes me feel exhausted and dizzy and does'nt feel like it normally does. Sorry for using the word "sex" and I hope I hav'nt offended anyone but I need so badly to get all this stuff off my chest.

I had a stiff neck and shoulder after surgery and I slept in all kinds of awkward positions which made me even more sore but then I read that with rabies, you can also get a stiff neck so this made me panic as well - even the the neck probs are'nt nearly as bad as they were a week or so ago. However, I do get these little pin-prick sensations in my back or neck every so often (maybe once a day) and that really freaks me out.

Anyway, does all this sound like anxiety?. Can it wax and wane throughout the day - geting better and then worse and last for months (off and on)?. My whole face feels like someone rubbed fiberglass all over it. My eyes are watering, my sinuses are stuffed up, I just feel like crap and every sensation I get, I start freaking out really bad.

Thank you for listening (just wanted to share)

[chitown]

I know my anxiety fluctuates throughout the day. It can be a total roller coaster ride. You are not alone. Just think positive thoughts and remember there are others here to help and give support. I would really recommend keeping a journal of what you are feeling and show your therapist (if you have one) that way maybe you can track and understand them better

[wi_fighter]

GG, my anxiety fluctuates too. One minute I'll be fine and the next minute I'll feel like i grabbed an electric fence and my entire body is buzzing inside and my fingers and toes get ice cold.

The crisis hotline is going to know my life story inside and out before I even meet the social worker tomorrow morning, and I just started talking to them last night around 10:30. LOL

Not to make light of your situation. But I think sometimes we do have to laugh at ourselves to see that we're probably making things seem worse than they are, and when they're already bad enough, that's a lot of added anxiety we're heaping on ourselves.

[GreyGoose]

So true wi_fighter. Speaking of hotlines, for the first time the other night I looked a few of them up on the internet and called them but one was closed and the other was some middle-eastern guy who listened to my whole half-hour long story and then told me that he was just the answering service and that his company sold vitamines. I do have a few more numbers and one guy I spoke to was very nice and supportive and told me to be sure and call back again if I needed someone to talk to. So are there any really good hotlines out there other than ones that just tell you to "go to your doctor"?. I hav'nt called all the numbers yet. This hotline thing is kind of new to me.

[wi_fighter]

GG, I've been talking to the people associated with the county. I got their numbers in the phone book. It's just xxxx County After Hours Crisis Hotline. But during the day it's the Human Services Dept. that's been calling me.

I called last night when I was having a meltdown. I called the crisis line. Then I called Harbor House. Then I called Harbor House an hour later when I still couldn't sleep. They've called me back this morning twice from two different locations and I talked to both of them for close to an hour each time. I told them I felt bad talking their ears off and they said that's why they're here.

[christopherm317]

I'm having problems with my husband. Just the way you describe. You read something and flip out. I tell my husband stop reading stuff. He is convinced he has aids? For good reason I'm afraid. But knows there is no way he has it, 8 test prove it. But still he reads some symptom and begins to freak out. Gosh from the stool to the lump you got the same problems my husband does. I'm learning there's a lot of people that have similar problems. I wish I could tell you what is wrong with my husband to help you better understand your own problems. So if you find out tell me. He has set up appointments and we have to wait like a month to see the t but hopefully eventually we will know why all these problems exist. Good luck and calm down and Take care.

[CompGeek]

Anxiety can definitly come and go. People with anxiety disorders can have days free of anxiety and then the next day have horrible anxiety attacks. One way to help with the anxiety that you are having may be to imagine that you are and actor and your life is your movie. If you ever when you start to have an anxiety attack remind yourself that your "movie" can always be rewinded and re-scripted if need be. I discussed this technique in one of my classes... I hope it helps.

[Lauren1214]

Anxiety does suck, doesn't it??? Last week I was having a horrible time with it. I tried every trick in the bag, but nothing seemed to work. Like you, I was jumpy, jittery, dizzy, just plain nervous... at my session, my T and I brainstormed together and after having me describe my symptoms, she said my body was going into fight or flight mode, and that vigorous exercise when I was anxious might help. The moment she said that, I remembered going jogging in the middle of the night when I was in college and suffering from anxiety. I guess I'd discovered that all by myself at the time! So anyway, I haven't tried it yet because my anxiety seems to have abated this week, but feel free to give it a try if you want. Incidentally, my T said not to give in to the feeling that my legs cannot support me during exercise because they feel like jelly. She said that was all in my mind. Good luck!!! Lauren