anxiety kicking in

I am going back to work next week after a 7 month sick leave. I could walk in and they could fire me for one thing. Also I do not know how I will feel back there....And I just realised today that I have just wasted 7 months of my life, for 7 months I did nothing except take care of my house and wasted so many hours just lying around. I did have a horrible deep depression, went through withdrawal from benzos, and suffered paralizing anxiety, changed medications a few times....now my mood is much better, I feel a lot more like myself although at times I dont recognize this person....I am getting very scared and so anxious....I am so worried, I have been doing fine just staying home for the last month, but now just thinking or talking about work and I am freaking out.
Sorry for this long rant...

That sounds hard. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I have a lot of compassion for you. I just went off of anti-depressants after 14 years. I have been off for almost 4 months now and the anxiety and depression are starting to come back. I really relate to what you said about not "recognizing this person" at times. On a hopeful note though: I find that usually my fears and anxieties are like the "boogie man" under the bed when I was a child... It seemed big and scarey and dangerous, but when I shined a light on it and looked at it for what it really was... it turned out just to be a pile of clothes. In other words my fears are usually much bigger and scarier than the reality of the situation. I have found time after time, that even though I am scared out of my mind, that things work out - even if they don't work out how I planned. I hope that your first day back goes well and allows you to feel a little relief from the anxiety. Best wishes.

Your feelings are understandable. Thoughts of being on the job can be anxiety-provoking. Once you are into the tasks involved, however, I think your anxiety will dissipate. Work has a way of being it's own therapy. I feel certain that you will feel better once you have gotten into that first day back. It might help to realize that, no matter how they may act on the outside, most people are just scared little individuals like you and me. Find something positive to say to the people you run into, and they will respond in a like manner. Blessings on your return to work ~ billieJ