[bailey]

Hi,

I'm new here and wondering if anyone has any advice on work and anxiety. I've been battling anxiety for 1.5 years and depression on and off for 5. Work is a big trigger for both. I have trouble concentrating which just makes me more anxious and prone to mistakes. I have a big deadline for a client coming up with things not working quite right (and mistakes cropping up) and I've only managed to sleep 4 hours or so each night.

I've been seeing a therapist to try and help for 1.5 years, but still feel like I'm never going to be able to do this job without having a problem. I've been here 4 years and the responsibility just keeps increasing, even though I've tried to make them aware that I'm not comfortable with things. It's a professional consulting job (ie think lawyer like) so there are not set positions and job responsibilities to deal with, but ever changing and increasing pressure and responsibility.

Last summer I talked to my boss (now gone) about this problem, but it was related to one specific project and now seems to be associated with most work.

I did manage to talk my company into 6-8 weeks off this summer (banked time and holidays) due to burn out but am pretty concerned that I will feel the same within 2 weeks of being back at work. I am also now getting anxious about the time off (lovely little paradox, that).

I know no one will have an answer for me, but I wondered if anyone has dealt with this issue. I feel torn between feeling like I'm giving up a good career with a good company (and the two university degrees in this field) and mental health/physical health and what else I could possibly do that would be less anxiety forming.

Thanks for your time,
T

[Myzen]

Hi Bailey,

That's a hard one, and only you can tell how it feels. I dropped out of work myself, and that didn't really make the anxiety any better. I think that the illness has patterns of it's own, and it depends how well you can cope with the symptoms.

A good counsellor will help you with the decision when the time comes. I think that there are plenty of people here on psych central who are still working and plenty that have stopped working. I'm interested to hear some more views on this, it's a very important issue for us IMHO.

Good thoughts, Myzen

[jmo531]

Hi and Welcome to PC.

I was recently in a similar situation. Years of productive work at the same company. I was promoted, well liked, the whole 9 yards. Late last summer, after 15 almost 16 months with no vacation I decided to take a week off for some much needed rest. After I returned it was 100 times worse then before I left. I tried to lie to myself and never truely paid attention to the warning signs that my body was giving me. I had a few physical ailments that were related to my stress that I ignored. Before I knew it was winter and I was in the middle of hell. Panic attacks and depression hit me full force. I had to begin taking Anti Depressants in early December. I had actually fought that reality for two months before I actually gave into the fact that I was sick, I needed help and I could no longer take the path I was taking. It was killing me. I took extensive medical leave from work which caused a ray of emotions for me. I was still worried about my job, how I was perceived by others at my job and in my day to day life. I finally pushed myslef to go back to work in early February, against the advice of my T, I went back full time. It wasnt long before I was in the same noat again. I was taking days off from work at a time trying to deal with me. I couldnt deal with me until I let go of everything around me. That way, I could finally concentrate on getting well and staying well. I finally quit my job on May 31 this year. I had no choice as I see it. I had to choose me.

I am not saying that this is the decision that you must make. I am just telling you that things may seem to get better but as long as you ignore yourself, the warning signs, it will sneak up on you and make it that much harder to deal with.

I would go out and purchase some books on anxiety. How to cope and what not. Educate yourself on the subject. That is really important. Take time for you. Relax often and learn breathing techniques as this is very helpful in the middle of an axiety attack. You will be alright.

I will stop rambling now and apologize for semi-hi-jacking your thread. Sometimes, i find it helpful to share my personal story so others can not make the same mistakes. I wish peace for you. Please keep us posted. Much love.


Jen

[Parker10]

WHen I was having panic and anxiety attacks, I quit working. I really thought I would feel better getting away from the pressures of work, having no certain time to get up, no deadlines, no meetings, etc. However, in MY case, I got worse. I had too much time on my hands to think about my anxiety and panic. I became housebound for 7 months. Literally did not go out of the house even to the front porch. At that point, I found a specialist, went inpatient for treatment, got the therapy and meds I needed, completed another degree and returned to work. I felt better keeping busy ! This is just MY situation, and everyone is different. Of course during my time off from work, I did have the opportunity to get more help than while I was working, so it did have that benefit.

You state you have been in therapy for the anxiety and depression , are you taking medication also? I agree with JMO's post, if you havent already done so, educate yourself about anxiety disorders and depression.

Having worked now for years with clients who have panic and anxiety disorders, it is often very hard to discern if work is actually the cause of ones anxiety without taking a break to see if you feel better. However, like you state, the thought of going back to work could actually increase your anxiety. IMHO, perhaps a 2 week vacation, might let you know as much as a 6-8 week leave. If after 2 weeks, you have a marked decrease in your anxiety and depression , you have your answer, and I would seriously consider a job change, however, if after 2 weeks, you don't notice a difference in how you feel, it might indicate that your job is not the cause.

Good luck with your decision, and in dealing with your anxiety/depression !