OCD tendency boyfriend..

My boyfriend has OCD tendencies which he terms 'anality.' He claims that there are advantages and disadvantages to his behaviours and compulsions, and does not consider he is in need of assistance.
it is also something that is in his family. his father never ate dinner with the family for instance, b/c he could never get away from his bussiness on time, and once at home, spent significant time ensuring the home/car/etc is secure and everything is in its right place. i feel that my boyfriend may have learned his attitudes from his parents, while he believes it's genetic (perhaps doesn't want to believe tht he could learn something and not be aware of learning it). i worry about our kids picking up habits from him, and about him becoming worse as he gets older.

am i worrying about nothing?
he is also a medical research scientist, and i think his job is also intensifying his fear of germs etc.

also, how do i support him? i don't know how to get him help if he doesn't see it as a problem.

thanks
Vylert.

perhaps if you sat down and shared some of your worries with him? just let him know how much his behaviours worry you and maybe even make a compromise with him to go with him to counseling or something for a few sessions (set a number) and if he really feels like he is receiving no benefit from it, then offer to put your concerns aside for him. even if he does not want to admit that he has a problem, perhaps his love for you will prompt him to see how much this bothers you and to seek help for it.

i am not really sure how to help, since i've never really had this problem myself. what i do know though, is that his healing will have to take place in its own time. if he is to get help or address his problems it will have to be on his time....and i know that is not much comfort. pushing the issue is likely only to create a rift between the two of you and make it even less likely that he will seek help. just be as supportive as you can, try to be understanding of his obsessions and compulsions... be there for him and perhaps he will begin to understand how worried you are about him. it's worth a shot. best of luck to you... PM me if you ever want to talk.

-shadow

You have told us more about what his father does than what your boyfriend actually does. I think you need to get some clarity for yourself on what his rituals are, why he does them, and what the impact is. For example, in his father's case, an impact was not being able to spend time relaxing with his family. If your boyfriend's fear of germs keeps him from being able to be in public places or something like that, or otherwise limits how he can live his life, then it might be a problem. Those are the kinds of things you would want to talk to him about, especially if you are also being limited by it. I don't know to what extent OCD is genetic, but there are medications that can help with it, and therapy can help. Maybe you would want to make a list of pros and cons for your own benefit so that you can get it sorted out in your own mind and know what you might want to do with it.

Rap