My Boyfriend Knows..

Ok, so I've been struggling with an eating disorder for 3 years now, my adoptive family never took any notice of it, said I was doing it purely for attention, so I carried on doing it, not eating..

I never hid it from my boyfriend.. Well I told him I wasn;t eating properly because food made me feel sick, jjust smelling it.. Which wasn't a lie, I just held back the fact that I wanted that..

So, he offered me chocolate the other day, a week after he'd tried getting me to eat again.. I only ate when he was there, not when he wasn't.. And I'd stopped eating again, so refused and he kept it there, holding it and I was almost begging him not to give it to me.. and then it clicked and he said "you're not eating properly are you?!" I smiled to try and cover up, but he said "it's not funny!" So I admitted it, there was nothing else i could do..

So now, he's said he's going to keep up tabs on what I'm eating and stuff.. So I'm really stuck as to what I should do :S because all I want to do is lose a little bit of weight.. Even if I am average, I don't want to be average, I want to be a little bit less than average..

I don't know what to do.. I don't want help with it yet, but he won't listen to me.. How can I get him to see?

Help?

Kirsten

Welcome to PC... of course my first thought.. is to say.. "oh please eat"... but you don't want that support.. so

I am really trying to listen to you.. to answer.. what you want help with...

I have had an ED for about 6 years....

To answer your specific question.... "I don't want help yet and he won't listen"...

1. you could break up with him..

2. you could explain to him.. and go out to the internet - print out material on anerxioa... and in that material.. it will tell him that until the person with the eating disorder wants help - those around them - can't help...
seeing it in black and white - may help him understand that for him to keep tabs on what you eat.. isn't going to change anything...

3. you could tell him - please leave my eating alone.. what I eat.. when I eat.. and so forth...

for a person such as your boyfriend... it is very hard to watch a person that he loves not eat and not take care of themselves... it hurts him...

I have an ED... but I had a friend with an eating disorder. and it was very hard on me.. trying to get her to eat when she didn't want to... and in the end... nothing I said helped.. she froze me out of her life..because she didn't want me to intefere...

so I can see both sides.. I guess...

I wish you all the luck... and I hope.. sometime soon.. you will change your mind and want to eat...

It sounds like you're boyfriend really cares about you. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to you.. Um, I was going to offer a little advice but but maybe I'm not the one with the way I'm handling my own weight :x