[irish_angel]

Ok so I am employed but 5 weeks ago is when I was diagnosed with GAD and the doctors keep giving me time off work and say I need to chill out and relax.

Ok thats not a problem in todays society right?? haha But the hard part is the anxiety is preventing me from calling work yet again and tellingthem I wont be back, I know its wrong and cowardly but I really really really reallycant call, it paralizes me and they have been calling and leaving messages, I listened to one, they are being really nice and worried about me and want me to call to let them know what is going on...but I cant, now when my phone rings and I see its work I wont answer, wont let my son answer and then when the message light flashes, I delete the message before listening to it, I hate this feeling and it only gets worse with my need to please and not hurt people, I dont want to confront to say my doctor says no...

Is this not the most retarded thing you have ever ever heard?

[BamaSurvivor]

Is it JUST them calling that you're afraid of or talking on the phone in general?

I have a strange phobia and get anxiety when I think about calling people... I *hate* having to call people. I don't mind it if they call, I'm fine then. But when I have to call people, my hands get sweaty and I get VERY nervous and anxious. It's very bothersome.

Anyway, I hope somehow you can get your anxiety under control enough to just talk to your worker just once and tell him/her what is going on. You're in my thoughts.

how about just a short note to your employer. that should be easy and i know they would feel better, knowing that you're all right. it sounds like they care about you and you could ease their minds and yours, at the same time.

[irish_angel]

Im going to get my hubby to go in for me, sounds like a easy way out, but the thought of displeasing someone..anyone at all.. it causing me so much pain and anxiety I literally throw up and feel like Im dying, its been this way for along long time..like I said never mind a loved one, I HATE to displease ANYONE

((((HUGS))))

it sucks.

[jennie]

(((((((irish_angel)))))))) I've had similiar situations. My counselor has encouraged me to deal with these things as soon as they arise since the longer I stress and avoid them, the worse the anxiety becomes for me. I've also started practicing saying "no" to people. Or, "I prefer not to discuss this at this time." Both very hard to do when I want to please others. But sometimes, it's just "none of their business." Stand up for you!

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{irish}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[irish_angel]

Thank you all for your support, Im still trying to deal with this issue, I hate that it consumes my life this way, I really know the right answers to what you are suppose to do in any given situation.. but i cant seem to do what I know I should..
Does that make sense to anyone?

[kelbelle65]

{{{{{Irish}}}} you are not alone. I have the exact same thing-- I have a paralyzing fear of displeasing others or insulting them or offending them. It makes me feel like a spineless jellyfish... I tend to attract friends who are strong in their ability to say no to people and I have one friend who is really confrontational. I have forced myself to stay friends with her and it has helped me so much to work through confrontations and tell her when I am uncomfortable or feel offended. She'll say something that hurts me and I'll get quiet. Then she'll realize I got quiet and she says, "Do you have hurt feelings." And I've learned to say yes! And then we talk about it. Not always a pretty discussion, but I'm learning. So I am practicing with the people I feel safe with. I say things like, "would you be willing to (fill in the blank) because when you do that, I feel hurt or lonely or ignored (whatever the case may be). I'm hoping to get up the nerve to put it into practice at work soon, but I haven't needed to yet...

What I learned is that I am just as valid as other people and if the person I am afraid to displease really loves me, then they will forgive me if I displease them.

And one last thing... I realized I was making a lot of assumptions about how people were feeling (i.e., Carole must be mad at me because she hasn't called me back). Then I find out she was going thru a very sad situation with her adoption process. It helps just to tell myself: my friends and family love me. life just gets busy for them and I mustn't make assumptions. It's a form of self-doubt when I do this, I think...

Hope this helps in some small way and I wish you peace deep in your heart. (I'm Irish too, by the way.) <font color="purple"> </font>