[bmarie]

Hello all, Usually i'm under the bipolar section but as of late have been experiencing a lot of anxiety. I see my psychiatrist in late September, the soonest date available.

Anyway the anxiety started first while becoming intersted in someone at the gym- freinds say one things, others say another thing so i'm unsure if i'm ready to date for fear it will it end like the last fiasco. Then i started worrying about the last guy i dated coming back and how i would react, if the same thing would end up happening.

In 6 days i'll be turning 30 and started worrying about what i'm doing with my life, don't like my job but figuring out what to do, noticing freinds getting married and having kids already. Worry about getting older and will i get married in time to have a child before menopause. Also having financial problems- not good with money and may have to go back to living with parents and i know that wasn't very fun. There's also work- very stressful- in law enforcement and it feels like i argue with someone everyday and the criminals are not exactly boy scouts.

All this has manifested itself in physical ways: having nightmares, my hands tremble, it's like i'm scared all the time, stomach problems and headaches all the time, i'm tired all the time and easily startled.

Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? thannks.

[sick]

You are overwhelming yourself with thoughts to many okay try to deal with one thing time. with friends set limits to just go out and enjoy evening nothing else okay go with friends you are comfortable with as well. keep things light okay worries keep them at bay just enjoy each day as it is presented to you one day time okay thats it thats all one can deal with

[Indie'sOK]

I agree with Sick - thinking about all those things at once would be indeed overwhelming. I know it sounds easier said than done, but try to just focus on your surroundings and the world going by around you. Clear your mind of the past and the future and just be here, you know what I mean? It's hard to do at first, but like many things it gets easier with practice. Is there anyone you feel comfortable talking about this with?

[bmarie]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

I Is there anyone you feel comfortable talking about this with?

well i have a couple of freinds but they don't say much of anything just kind of say "not to worry". They don't seem to have an idea of what i'm talking about, sadness they get, worry not so much. Next week I have an appt with the psych doctor. I use to see a therapist, i guess i should start scheduling appts with him again.

It seems sort of bad when i am not occupied doing something that requires mental thought.

[cheshireKat]

I wish I could offer you some advice, but the best I can come up with is to say that I know how you're feeling. Sick and Indie'sOK are right--the best thing would be to stop your mind from racing and take things one step at a time--but that's so much easier said than done. Maybe, perhaps, try to take a moment whenever you can to enjoy the little things in life. A clear sky on a beautiful day with just a couple wisps of clouds. A particularly decadent serving of ice cream. A little kid on the sidewalk making a funny face that just makes you laugh. Then work your way up from there.

Best wishes-

[sisu]

I'm 34. The childlessness thing is not something to worry about yet. Really.

It sounds as though one thing NOT in your life right now is a set routine of stress relief- you have a stressful job, a lot of anxiety thought habits, and you don't mention any place where you're regularly working to downregulate your physical state, long enough to relax. Do you get exercise? That's part of the process. The other is having a regular place where you try to relax your muscles and calm down, for practice, whether it's through tai chi, yoga, meditation, or just a relaxation tape done at home. Having these things, even for five minutes a day, gives you a regular habit of calming down, so that you don't have stress building on stress. Later, you can take those techniques into the field and into regular life, letting you calm down whenever you notice stress.

my therapist asks me regularly, where do you feel the tension? And when i say, my shoulders, or my arms, or my legs... "What happens if you just give the muscles in your shoulders permission to be tense? Tell them they can be tense." That's usually enough to make me stop fighting to relax them, and they relax. This might be something to practice whenever you notice the physical symptoms getting bad, just as a place to start. But having the set aside time for exercise and relaxation might help you feel as though your life is regulated and not out of control.