[CliveWild]

I would usually post on the Bipolar threads. I read another post on the Anxiety section and it seemed more appropriate for me right now. I would describe my state as general anxiety. I have suffered anxiety in the past, but that was anxiety about doing certain things. I went through an anxiety management class and the techniques helped. This general anxiety is more pervasive and I have no coping mechanisms. I just keep going best I can.

I struggle a lot of the time. I isolate myself more and more. I avoid social situations. I struggle to feed myself (even though I have followed a diet for a long time and I can do it). I put off shopping and run out of supplies. I have to be honest, in the hope that I can be honest with myself. I wear the same clothes for ages. I don't shower very often. I sometimes forget to brush my hair. If I see no one, I may not do it all day. My personal hygiene is very poor. My situation is reminiscent of being depressed for a long time in the past. I happily hide away from the world. I struggle to get up in the morning and I am happy to go to bed early. Last evening I went to bed at about 7.30pm. I only sleep 7 hours , so I woke at 2.30am !! I laid awake ( I think) until about 7.30am. It didn't seem like 5 hours and I may have dozed off. I sometimes find it hard to differentiate sleep from waking time. It may be due to the seroquel.

I got up, made coffee and ate some breakfast. My mood has been swinging wildly and at times I was almost crying. I have stayed close to my computer. It acts as a security blanket. The TV is on in the background for company.

I would appreciate any suggestions for coping with this general anxiety. It is so disabling. I have to see my pdoc in January to talk about alternative medicines. The PRN of seroquel is only partially effective. It just mellows me out and I sometimes sleep.

I hope I have been honest enough. I think sometimes we are not totally honest with ourselves or even our on-line friends. I think we should try to be more honest.

[hayward]

I can relate to some, but not all of, the details in your situation. Unfortunately I am not in a place to give you much advice right now since I am struggling myself.

However, today I am going to try something and maybe you could try it too. Pick one simple goal for yourself- something that you know would make you feel better, even if only for a short time, even if it seems small. Say to yourself "At the end of today, I will feel better about the day if I could just do this one thing: _________."

For example, maybe you could drive to a store someplace and just buy one thing. Or maybe it's a 5 minute walk. Anything that will show yourself that you can make baby steps to having a better day.

I think the problem for many of us is that we see things all or nothing. We set ourselves up, thinking we should just be able to get over it- to fix all of our problems. That is self defeating and unrealistic thinking.

Positive steps and thoughts feed on each other- just as negative ones do. So try, just for today, and pick one thing. Then do it, and pat yourself on the back. Who knows, it might make you feel good enough to do something else- but don't push it!

Also, I just want to commend you for posting your feelings so honestly. That is a really good sign. It means you are reaching out and want to be heard and want to make changes. So already today you have made progress. Now... back to my idea: What will you try today? Let's see... my goal is to get outside for a walk. And in addition to that, I am going to report back to this forum and later, and hopefully see what you might have to say.

[CliveWild]

Thanks Hayward. I know how hard it can be when you are struggling yourself. I will take on board what you have said. Today, my goal might be to feed myself properly. I have not re-stocked after Christmas and I am "making do" a lot. Seriously, in view of my earlier posting, I will make it to have a shower. It might make me feel better... That's a real baby step... Tomorrow's goal might be to enter an on-line shop for groceries. Take Care.

[sundog]

I hear you ((((((((((Clive)))))))))) and I can relate to so much of this. I used to think Panic Attacks were the worst (and they are!!) but I had under-estimated the insidious nature of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. As you say here, it pervades everything.

Whereas panic attacks have a beginning and an end, GAD is continuous and very limiting and debilitating. Thank you for sharing about it here so honestly. It does help, I think, to share with people who understand.

I don't necessarily isolate at home, because I don't necessarily feel any safer at home than anywhere else. But even though I go out and do things, I am very much locked into my own little world and I am perpetually pre-occupied with how badly I am feeling physically. Also, the things I do are very limited and I do understand what you say here about a "security blanket". If only it really was though!! What I find is that the very routines I create for myself to try and make myself feel safe, just end up compounding the problem, and, in the long, run, make my anxiety worse.

I'm glad you're going back to see your pdoc about alternative medications. I'm planning on doing this too. It's VERY hard to push ourselves to do things if we feel physically ill as a result of the anxiety. It's like having the flu and trying to continue on as normal. You can only do it for so long.....

I know there is more to it than meds, but I do think that when the GAD has reached unbearable levels, it is important to try and get some pharmaceutical help. I have tried EVERYTHING else in terms of non-pharmaceutical approaches: therapy, exercise, meditation, relaxation exercises, breathing exercises, journaling, dietary supplements, eliminating stimulants from my diet etc, etc, etc, etc. I definitely think these things are really important, but, for me personally, they have not been enough to get the GAD under control.

I love the thread you started about Daily Goal setting. And I love that you are being so honest about all of this and sharing here. Thank you so much for that. We are on this journey together and it feels good to support each other!!!! Thank you ((((((Clive))))))

[hayward]

hello again

I see that you have posted another thread about this so from now on I will jump to that one!