[with or without you]

I deal with social phobia and clinical depression, but this was something new. I have to say that to all of you who suffer from panic attacks, I now have an appreciation of what you have to endure....YIKES.

The reason for the panic attacks is somewhat odd, because the reason is not a bad one. In the last month or so, I have been having major breakthroughs in my therapy...having to do with totally coming clean and being more open about things than ever before! The whole experience of letting it all out was mind-blowing. This created a very real sense of euphoria for me, because I keep going back and reading what I wrote down, and I'm flabbergasted that I did it. So, I have been feeling mostly high as a kite for the whole week. But I had 3 panic-like episodes, one was in the middle of the night and I could not go back to sleep, my heart was beating out of my chest and I was breathing heavy. The other two were at work and again, my heart started beating. I couldn't stop fidgeting around in my seat nor catch my breath. I was able to treat the most recent panic attack by having some water, and getting up from my desk and sitting in a chair across the room...away from the computer screen. I eventually calmed down.

I am going to talk to my therapist on Monday and see what she says. I have some idea of what's going on here. Maybe it's just that the emotions are so intense from this "bloodletting" (so to speak) that just feeling happy thoughts and smiling are not enough to express this stuff. Also, I am not a big crier (both good and bad times)....so maybe this is my body's way of having a happy cry?

[sundog]

Hi with or without you. Well done for making so much progress in therapy! That's great! I think your theory is a good one that the panicky symptoms you've experienced this week are related to the breakthroughs you've made in therapy. You obviously have a ton of feelings - and adrenaline - floating around right now, and in some ways, feeling euphoric and/or really excited is similar to the stress response that gets activated when we're on the verge of a panic attack: increased heart rate, surge of energy, not being able to sit still, jitteryness etc. So it makes sense that your autonomic nervous system is all stirred up right now and that your body could be reacting like this because of what's been going on in therapy.

Anyhow, it's good you have another therapy session on Monday and that you're going to talk to your T about this. Wishing you all the best!

[Gus1234U]

as i understand it, a 'panic attack' is essentially a chemical dump by glands in the brain,, especially adrenalin and what i call "chemical terror", for lack of a better name. if you are having adrenalin surges, tachycardia (rapid heart beat) and rapid shallow breathing, you are having what i call a "stress attack".. either way, the kidneys can clean out the blood stream of these chemicals in about 15 minutes if they are not re-triggered. the skills recommended for handling those 15 minutes are: be mindful of your breathing, help it to return to normal by counting on the out-breath ~ 1001, 1002, 1003,, etc (if you loose track start over); delay taking any action to avoid the feelings or react to the stimulus that might have started them; distract yourself from thinking about what is happening , how it happened, why it happened, etc, by focussing on something trivial and mundane, such as shapes, colors, or reading anything handy, whether it makes sense or not (this engages a part of the brain that over rides the gland parts); defer refocussing on the 'attack' or it's causes or conditions, until you are well restored to "normalcy". finally, remember that this is a brain activity, triggered by thoughts, feelings, environmental factors and even blood sugar or muscle exhaustion. avoid blame, notice triggers and detox them by thinking of them when you are safe an rested. the best time to practice skills is Before you need them! best wishes,, Gus

[with or without you]

thanks for all your advice, sundog and Gus. It is much appreciated.