[sims3ismylife]

I've always been a quiet kid. I don't have many friends. I've never had many friends. But now I'm 14. I'm known as the "quiet kid". I don't usually talk to people I'm not friends with. But I want to. I want to become more outgoing and confident. That will really help me in the long run. Any thoughts? Thanks

[sunsetsunrise]

Hi Sims. I am really glad you are here !!! Thats a big step in the right direction. Good for you Sometimes people might need a bit of help to become more confident and outgoing. What would you think of talking to your school counseller about what you want? Sometimes they really can be great support in helping kids to reach their goals.

[ineedhelp7]

Hi sims,

You need to very slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone. Each day or at least twice a week make a plan to talk to someone that you would usually avoid. That might be making a bit of conversation with a shop assistant or something along those lines. Perhaps make more of an effort to chat to a neighbor or someone you don't know that well.
Have you thought about joining a club, gym or some kind of other interest where you meet people?
You could also look at whether there are any opportunities to do some volunteer work, perhaps help out for free at a local youth club or something similar.
The good news is that you are still really young so if you make steps to overcome this now you won't struggle as an adult.
Remember it is the tiny steps that lead to a big change.

[yellowted]

you may find it easier to start by giving people eye contact and a smile or nod at first, then build up over a few times to saying hi, then maybe good morning, then gradually to I like your.... then when you are feeling more confident you will be ready to broach a simple conversation. it takes millions of grains of sand to make a beach, in the same way it takes lots of little steps to build confidence, don't be put off if you do not get a response, people may just be suprised that you are acknowledgeing them, they may feel shy or aprehensive too, but slowly slowly works.

[with or without you]

If you are really having trouble taking steps to be more outgoing, and it's *really* troubling you, please get help. I didn't until I was almost graduated. It ruined my entire high school experience. I am almost 30, and am still trying to put my issues from that time to bed. Best of luck to you. Again, I strongly urge you to confront this now, while you are still very young.

[sunsetsunrise]

Originally Posted by with or without you

If you are really having trouble taking steps to be more outgoing, and it's *really* troubling you, please get help. I didn't until I was almost graduated. It ruined my entire high school experience. I am almost 30, and am still trying to put my issues from that time to bed. Best of luck to you. Again, I strongly urge you to confront this now, while you are still very young.

Yes, often there is something under the feelings that can be dealt with in counselling. And when we do that, we can actually heal stuff rather than just managing to work around it. Counselling is usually a combination of talking about the roots of something and working to heal it. A counseller also supports the person in taking the steps needed to change the way we do things, eg getting safe support to help you interact more. Like teamwork to make your life better. It really can help lots.

[with or without you]

Originally Posted by sunsetsunrise

Yes, often there is something under the feelings that can be dealt with in counselling. And when we do that, we can actually heal stuff rather than just managing to work around it. Counselling is usually a combination of talking about the roots of something and working to heal it. A counseller also supports the person in taking the steps needed to change the way we do things, eg getting safe support to help you interact more. Like teamwork to make your life better. It really can help lots.

Yeah, I have been working with my current therapist for almost 10 years, so I saw her right after I turned 20. It was initially for my social phobia, but unfortunately, my dad died a year later, and my therapy focused on grief management and just trying to get through the rest of college. Now that I am more stable as far as my financial/living situation, we are really going deeper than ever before and are revisiting everything that's bothering me but I have repressed up until now. It was totally my idea to finally "be real" with her and not hold back. This process has been at times frightening and has made me physically ill/disturbed my sleep, but a necessary one. I have uncovered a lot about why I am the way I am.