[WXWX]

I think I'm losing my mind , nothing seems real. Everything seems to be in a haze. I see shadows of figures running on my walls ,and I feel like I'm always being watched . I sometimes find myself at places when I don't remember how I got there . Even my art has been affected ,I find drawings in my room of twisted and mutilated figures that I don't remember drawing.(I usualy draw manga .)I'm not violent so I don't know why I would draw things like that.

I was raped by another guy more than twice my age when I was eight years old and I can still feel his hands touching me sometimes when I have panic attacks or flash backs. Somebody please help me , l'm not sure I can live like this much longer , l already attempted suicide once and I'm tempted to try again.

[cutbuddie]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. But you are defiantly not alone. I also feel like I'm loosing my mind also but with a voice attached. And also dealing with PTSD, which you might be dealing with.
Please take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to take that first step into asking for help. You may be surprised what will happen..
Stay strong and don't be afraid. We are all here to help and support you on a path to recovery, all you have to do is take that first step and seek help.

Best of wishes, huggs.

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by WXWX

I think I'm losing my mind , nothing seems real. Everything seems to be in a haze.
this sounds like disassociation - are yuo seeing a therapist? if so make sure you tel them about this - the grounding techniques at the top of the PTSD forum may help a little wiht this when you feel this way

I see shadows of figures running on my walls ,and I feel like I'm always being watched . I sometimes find myself at places when I don't remember how I got there . Even my art has been affected ,I find drawings in my room of twisted and mutilated figures that I don't remember drawing.(I usualy draw manga .)I'm not violent so I don't know why I would draw things like that.

I was wondering what Manga was ? pardon my ignorance . If you aer not seeing a therapist - maybe it would be a good idea to make an appointment wiht one - if you have recently started any meds - check wiht your dr or pdoc in case these are side effects ok

I was raped by another guy more than twice my age when I was eight years old and I can still feel his hands touching me sometimes when I have panic attacks or flash backs. Somebody please help me , l'm not sure I can live like this much longer , l already attempted suicide once and I'm tempted to try again.

I have body memories too - they are not pleasant and i am sorry you are going through this - have you had any therapy for this ? or spoken to a rape crisis centre? please reahc out to someone around yuo and get some help - suicide is never the answer - it only damages more people in the process and i know you would not want that.

Please take care of you and let us know how you are and if you have contacted a T or your T - stay safe

P7

[Gus1234U]

dear WXWX,, it sounds like you may be experiencing more than just PTSD.... i would hope you see a doc or a psychiatrist soon, tell them what you told us,, even print out your post and take it with you~! don't let this escalate to the place where you are gone~~ find a lifeline~ ||~~~~~~O best wishes,, Gus

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Feeling empathy for you.

Billi