[ReneeDawn]

My husband and I have been married for a few months and everything is great except for one problem. He suffers anxiety.

It started a few years ago when we started dating. He had an allergic reaction and I had to take him to the Emergency Room. Ever since then he does not want to be alone. He's always afraid something horrible is wrong with him and wants me with him almost every second of the day (except when he's at work.). I had to turn down a promotion at my job because I wasn't going to be home enough for him.

Lately it's gotten worse. He recently had an endoscopy, he has barrett's esophagus, and everything came back wonderful. In fact, he doesn't have to have another one for 3 years! However, they didn't numb his throat and he's been feeling some chest pain, which they told him he would for a while. But he's very paranoid that something has gone wrong. Sometimes he believes they ripped something inside. We haven't had a good night's sleep in days because he will keep waking up in the middle of the night shaking and sweating, thinking something is wrong. I offer to call the doctor's 24 hour number so we can ask him questions but he won't let me. He absolutely refuses to let me call them. He will not tell me why. He also will not see a doctor to talk about his anxieties.

Even the smallest stomach ache is life threatening to him. I'm doing all I can to be supportive and patient with him and help him all I can but it's wearing me out tremendously. I will talk to him to get his mind off of it, I will try to get him out of the apartment, I will reassure him that everything is fine... I'm all out of ideas to help him I'm started to feel depressed all the time. Is there anything else I can do?

[sundog]

Hi ReneeDawn. Welcome! I'm sorry you are being worn out by your husband's anxiety. I am also a very anxious person, and I worry a lot about health issues. I can definitely relate to what your husband must be feeling. I guess the difference with me is that I do go to the doctor and the psychiatrist and I talk about these things. In fact, I go to the doctor a lot......Partly that is hypochondria, but I also go so that I'm not constantly talking to my husband about my health and anxiety issues.

It's definitely not fair on you to be the only person supporting your husband through this. I don't quite understand why he is reluctant to talk to a professional? Therapy can be really helpful. And of course there are also psychiatric medications that are effective for some people.

I really hope that your husband will decide to seek professional help. These types of anxiety disorders are very persistent and they can really take over. Your husband may not realize the toll this is taking on you so it would be good if you could have a heart to heart with him.

In the meantime, I hope we can offer you some support

[ReneeDawn]

Thank you Sundog. His mother has been trying to get him to see someone and has finally talked him into it. We're going to try and get him an appointment sometime this month.

He will sometimes take this medication when he starts to feel a panic attack to help him calm down. But it's about all he will do. And he knows the toll it's taking on me but he just doesn't believe talking to a professional will help.

[sundog]

I'm really glad to hear that your hubby has now agreed to see a professional! That's great news. Happy New Year to you and your family! ((((((ReneeDawn)))))

[cameron949]

I can see it from your husband's prospective- because I am there.

There has not been something wrong with me for over (10) years. For the last (4) years I was dying of colon cancer- after several medical tests it turns out it was IBS. It was always something- and always something that I was worrying about- causing my health, mentally and physically to decline.

Now it is all the symptoms of anxiety as a result of worrying about medical tests done in March- that were clear by the way. I have worried myself into anxiety, panic attacks and depression.

I sympathize with you, I have put my wife through hell for years and she continues to stand by me- she must truly love me. It takes a huge toll on you I know- I can see it in my wife. I try to do what I can when I am feeling up to it, to do all I can to show my appreciation for her understanding. We talk alot now, about what I am feeling and how things are going with me. In absense of information, she came to some different conclusions about the reality of what I was feeling. At least now she knows and can understand somewhat. I also share what I have learned about my anxiety, so she knows what it is- and not minimize the impact of something as simple as stress and anxiousness.

I guess I am lucky to have developed anxiety problems, because it has forced me to seek help. I have to say it the man traits of being stubborn that kept me from seeking help before, psychologists and therapy were just not in my game plan, all I wanted to do was continue to worry- and now I have am forced to on my own accord, to overcome my anxiety and panic disorder symptoms.

I have to always tell my wife she was right and apologize, and that has made up for some of the ridiculous suffering I have made her go through on my health worries- that were nothing but that- my own worries.

I hope that your husband can soon realize that he needs to get some help. It may take a lot to get there- but from my confessions of being like him, it is not as easy as it seems to come to that conclusion. The worry in him keeps him going- and from obtaining help. I have a long road to recovery to come- but I am moving in the right direction I believe- and I hope your husband can soon start his journey as well.

Just know that someone sitting in your husbands position, truly sympathizes with you- and understands your suffering. Try to understand it is the uncontrollable mental issues talking, and not the husband you love, when he continues to have his issues.

[SpaghettiMonster]

I can relate to everything you're saying. I have terrible Hypochondria (I guess every Hypochondria is terrible) the Anxiety you have over the smallest things. If i get a headache I'll always think it's a brain tumor.

Maybe get him some help from a psychiatrist.

[ReneeDawn]

Thanks everyone, this is really helping. We couldn't get a hold of anyone for him to talk to. His mother has someone specific she wants him to see.

I've been sick all weekend and have bronchitis so it was his turn to take care of me. I think he started to realize how hard it is to care for someone by yourself. His nose began to bleed and he became paranoid again but once he saw me coughing and stuff he dealt with it himself so he could take care of me. I'm not sure if that's progress.

I'm staying by his side the whole way, but I do wish he would talk to someone about this who has more insight on how to really figure out what's going on. The medical field has never been my strong point.

[sundog]

Hi ReneeDawn. I'm sorry you have bronchitis! It's really good your hubby has been able to take care of you. And that he dealt with his nosebleed and the anxiety it caused him on his own. Sometimes when we're forced to step up to the plate so to speak, it can bring out strengths in us that we didn't realize we had.

I really hope he is able to get in to see a professional soon. And I really hope you feel better