Getting over your anxiety

@Sunsetsunrise

I have no choice but to live with my father and step-mother for 3 more years, since I'm only 15. (Legal adult age here for everything including a drvers licence and drinking is 18.) My father does drink quite a bit but how should i put this, I don't put too much care on it? He's never been too agressive, and the only one he harms is himself.If that's what he wants, then it's his own problem.He can stop, he has before.He just doesn't want to.

Anyways, I'm neither from America or the UK, so what ever organization Alateen might be, we don't have it here.The best treatment I can get for my problem is coucling once a week. (I know, because I've actualy asked someone who is getting theraphy.) Not to mention that a child or not, I have to pay for it.I can not afford anything on my own and honestly the helth support (at least in my State/Croatia) is horrible.This is why despite my parents saying no to the idea of councling, I didn't push too much into it.I'd rather do my best to solve it over this or not at all.

As a child I repetedly ended up at the school counclers office, for any problem I might have had as we were told to do by her.And realised it's really pointless.The best she does is tells us to think positive, deal with it, and then tells our parents the same.Now from a 17 year old friend who's suffering from schizophrenia, the news I heard about the Therapists were no better.

He recieved a bottle of pills a month, goes there once a week, wastes money and gets nothing out of it. I highly prefer watching what people say, and asking them for advise, since unlike the T's here, they are actualy going to people to help them.And even better, going through the same or at least similar problems like myself.
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Though i do have to say that my councler ''forced'' my parents to give me a single (free) trip to a psyhologist so we'll see how that ends up soon enough. :L

I'm often wondering, maybe foolishly, what is and is not within my control, as factors in my suffering. There are times when I think that I invent most of my problems through habitual thinking patterns and deeply ingrained negative beliefs about myself and my life, that I'm helpless, hopeless, undeserving of love, money, satisfying work, etc. If I keep repeating these mantras, then I keep getting more scarcity. But, it's enormously hard to change my beliefs after 55 years. BUT then I think, THAT is another story I tell myself. Then, there's the neurochemical component (unchanged by any drug I've tried). I spend way too much time in this unproductive obsessive loop.

Well then Dora, I am very grateful that you are here. And I mean that sincerely. I remain impressed with your strength and intelligence. I am glad you have the support of this website. And that we can have you here. I once new an amazing woman from Croatia on another website. Her heart was amazingly kind. Again, I am glad you are here.