i've reached my breaking point.

josh is in Iraq, daughter has gestational diabetes ,(and used meth, until she found out she was pregnant) the father of the baby has skipped and she's facing eviction from her house. her daughter, who is 6, has been through so much in her short life and i'm worried sick about her.

i can't get out of my head and the class is so hard that i'm going to withdraw..i'm a "A" grade person and i know that sooner or later, i'm going to have to go to Austin and try to keep things going there.that means i'll have to miss at least one class. and this is a 12 week course crammed into four weeks. missing if i can't make at least a B, then i can't be satisfied. also, it will be on the transcript that i have to show future employers. i'd rather withdraw and take the class again...when things aren't so stressful.

i have the job, which physically is killing me. i'm not used to standing up that many hours. but that will pass, i just need time to get used to it. the job really helps me to stay out of my head but at night i am obsessed with all that is going on. my sleep is fitful or not at all. i didn't sleep any friday night..went back to bed at 8 a.m. and slept til 1. that is the most sleep that i've had in several nights.

i've reached the breaking point and thank God, i'm able to realize it now...i talked to Dale for two hours this morning and he agrees about the class. he knows ALL about my stuff that is going on. so, i felt so much better hearing him help me work through withdrawing from the class. i hate giving up on things.

Pat,

You are not giving up on anything. The people who need you most...well...you haven't given up on them one bit.

Quite the opposite.

You are taking care of you, not throwing in the towel.

You are postponing a class. That's all. Not giving up.

Petunia

[Parker10]

If you dont take care of YOU first, then you will be of no use to others. The class will be offered again, like Petunia says - you are just postponing it - not giving up !

Sorry your plate is so full right now. Prayers are still with Josh and your unborn grandchild !

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((pat)))))))))))))))))))) i think you made a very wise decision. btw, you're not giving up, you're PUTTING OFF for a better time and opportunity!

You are going thru so much right now. well, your precious family is, so that means you are. there are times we have to pick our battles, friend, and this is one of those i think.

so many times i didn't have the insight that you're having right now and became the "jack of all trades and master of none". i barely made it because i wouldn't pick the important things. subsequently, those around me suffered as well.

i think you are so very wise. i think you are doing all the awesome things you should be doing. what a role model!

be safe, dear.

kd

[JustBen]

That's a lot for anyone to have on their plate. Putting this off seems like good self-care.

[CedarS]

((((((((((((((((Pat)))))))))))))))))))

[ozzie]

Pat, I think you're making a decision to take good care of yourself. We all have to do that at times even if it is sad and feels like we're giving something up at the same time.

[wisewoman]

Pat, we only have this once to do what we need to. Good luck and hope for peace with Josh and the 2 little ones.

[Merlin]

I am withdrawing from my french course and I understand how difficult a choice this is, but sometimes difficult choices are still the bst ones.

(((((fayerody)))))

tc

after i made the decision to withdraw from the class, my stomach quit hurting, no more diarrhea, headache went away and i suddenly had hope that i would make it.

my living room walls are now covered with colorful paintings, beautiful photographs and other art. i have all the matchstick shades up and they make the room really glow. i am dying the slipcover for the sofa this week and i put out my antique items that i've collected for 40 years....put in a very colorful cocktail table and put a few items on it that i love. hung the mirror up that i made and worked on for weeks) and have the t.v. in the funky thing that i got at Goodwill. polished the mahogany desk and craft work cabinet.i also added vintage linens on the backs of the chairs.

then in the kitchen, i hung two paintings and one huge portrait of my friend, Daniel Dejole, a Navajo bullrider. i put up a matchstick shade and then added vintage valances that i got at an estate sale about two years ago. the kitchen is so blah and i'm using purple, lime green and coral (from dollar stores) as my dishes and linens.

i cannot believe how my mood has improved and how my stress has dissipated...i also totally re-arranged the bedroom. and it looks much better. it looked like a clump of stuff before.

thank you all so much for helping me make the right decision about the class. until it was posted here, i had not thought of it as a "postponement"..i just felt like i was failing.

love, pat

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((pat))))))))))))))))))))))))

what a wonderful post! thank you so much for sharing! *big smile while reading*

Pat,

I'm not too good at saying the right things.....

Wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and am sorry for all that is going on. Glad you are doing the things that will take better care of you.
-- on a side note---about your daughter, I went through gestational diabetes-- so if you need to talk you can PM me anytime.

To Pat and her family!

mandy

[BlueFaith]

((((((((Pat))))))))

So happy to know that you are feeling better..

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((((((Pat))))))))))))))))))))

Sorry your having a hard time.


Hugs,

Jen

[Fuzzybear]

I hope a bearhug is ok (((((((((((((((( Pat )))))))))))))))))

Thank you all so much. So much has happened since I withdrew from the class. I have a life now. Before, I had a nervousness that I couldn't stop, I couldn't sleep and my stomach was killing me.

I am now "back on my game"......Thanks to all of you.

Hugs are loved. xoxoxo pat

[ozzie]

((((((((((((Pat)))))))))))) I understand exactly what you've been thru. Sometimes giving up on something important is the most important for us after all.

[__zh]

that's phenomenal that you've "reset" yourself in a week!! well done!!

it takes a smart person to realize when they're in over their head (for whatever reasons) and take steps to correct that.

what a great example for others to learn from. sorry that you did have to give things up but it sounds like you've already received much relief from having made those decisions.

whatta smart cookie you are!

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{Pat}}}}}}}} Don't beat yourself up for dropping the class, Hun. Sometimes we need to take a second run at things, ya know? You can't very well put your family on hold, so the class was the best choice you had.

Hang in there! You're a member of the "Tough Old Broad Club," remember?