[lachrymose]

I've been diagnosed for a few years with anxiety and depression, and I see my therapist every 2 weeks. I did something rash this past weekend - and there's some consequences. I apologized and am trying to make things right. I'm just going back and forth feeling one minute like I can handle it no problem, and the next wishing I could slink away and hide.

I need some ideas on how to get my equilibrium back. deep breathing, hot bath and 1/2 xanax didn't cut it.

What are your coping techniques?

[lovingone]

Originally Posted by lachrymose

I've been diagnosed for a few years with anxiety and depression, and I see my therapist every 2 weeks. I did something rash this past weekend - and there's some consequences. I apologized and am trying to make things right. I'm just going back and forth feeling one minute like I can handle it no problem, and the next wishing I could slink away and hide.

I need some ideas on how to get my equilibrium back. deep breathing, hot bath and 1/2 xanax didn't cut it.

What are your coping techniques?

Food ( which is why I am now on Nutrisystem). So I had to find others....

1. Favorite scents: it doesn't have to be real aromatherapy, but you may notice your favorite perfume or even your deodorant can make you feel relaxed.
I look strange stopping by the bathroom to sniff my deodorant, but it works.

2. Getting on the computer: There really is two worlds now, virutal and online, so when I don't like one I escape to the other. Games, chatting, message boards, youtube, help me get my mind off of things.

3. talking to a friend or family member

4. DVDs,TV,Youtube: I sleep with the tv on, which is another story...but TV has always been my favorite form of escapism. I like having recorded stuff and on demand stuff because I can watch the same thing over and over again any time I want which has a strange comforting affect for me. Lately I have been at Youtube like 5 times a day. It really makes my day.

5. A little eye candy: Whatever your sexual orientation, there's nothing like gazing on a beautiful person to lift your spirits.

[billieJ]

Talk it out, Lachrymose!~ chances are that what U did is not as rash or as bad as U think, even tho there are consequences. Let it out. It will help. Feel free to PM me or go to support chat; or talk to your T if you have one. But someone else's input is invaluable.

[sundog]

Hi lachrymose. Welcome! If something happened just very recently to trigger your anxiety then it might take a little time to calm down. I have found that sometimes the anxiety just needs to run it's course. Definitely there are things we can do to help ourselves - such as have already been mentioned. But it might take a few days or so before your equilibrium returns.

I would for sure continue with the breathing exercises and I would also try listening to some Guided Meditation CDs. There are several which are aimed specifically at working with intense emotions.

Personally I also find exercise very helpful. Especially exercise in the outdoors.

Let us know how you're doing

[lachrymose]

thanks for the replies....

I know stuff isn't as bad as I think...that's part of my anxiety issue I've been working on with my therapist (or T as it seems the short cut is ). Getting perspective. I have some self esteem issues - the run of the mill I'm not worthy kind of crap. So I always think I'm the one at fault or to blame, so I blow it out of proportion from there.

great suggestions! I love the smell of vicks vapor rub - so the deodorant idea sounds amazingly normal to me. And I have trouble eating when I'm anxious - I've dropped 15 pounds in the the last 3 weeks - which ain't gonna hurt me one bit - I could lose 30 more. I have been watching a lot of hulu and netflix - just can't get lost in it - but I'll keep trying.

What are guided meditation cds? Are they online somewhere (i guess i could google...duh)

thank you all for the support - I'm very new here, but already feel like someone - lots of someones - understand!

[sundog]

Originally Posted by lachrymose

What are guided meditation cds? Are they online somewhere (i guess i could google...duh)

A guided meditation CD is where someone on the CD leads you through a particular meditation with the goal of helping you relax. All you have to do is sit there, listen along, and try and visualize what the person is saying. I find these types of Guided Meditations helpful when I'm worked up because the voice and the words of the speaker give me something to focus on.

I have bought lots of these CDs over the years. I'm sure there are free ones online. Or you could pay to download some from itunes. I especially like meditations by someone called Jon Kabat Zinn and also Jack Kornfield. If you google those guys, a ton of stuff will come up. And hopefully some of it is free!!

[lachrymose]

thanks...I'll look those up!

[Cyran0]

Hi lachrymose, I'm glad you found us! It sounds like you already know some fairly good techniques and others here have added more so I don't think I have much to offer on that front. Sometimes I find I don't cope at all and just endure and suffer through it. It's horrible but sometimes there's no other way.

If you're like me the anxiety is going to hang around until you get to make amends. That's where I'd be putting my energies, on "making it right" as you've suggested.

I hope you stick around, it's a great community here and loads of us can relate to what you're going through.

Cyran0

[lachrymose]

I woke to a panic attack! I've been trying to keep it under control, but I'm on the edge.

I'm going to need all the coping techniques today!

I agree that I need to resolve the issue. Unfortunately it involves more pieces than just me. It was a preexisting issue that I exacerbated thinking I was making it better. I've made my personal apology, which I found was taken as insincere. But all I can do it carry on!

thanks!

[sundog]

((((((((((((((lachrymose))))))))))))))) I'm really sorry this is so complicated I don't know why the other person thinks your apology was insincere. That sucks! But, as you say, you've done your bit now. I very much hope this blows over soon. And, in the meantime, I hope you can distract yourself from worrying too much about it

[Cyran0]

(((lachrymose))) Wow do I know the waking up in a panik attack thing. That's been my life for the past few months. Even as other parts of my anxiety have improved the morning panic is still a crippling constant.

Unfortunately I haven't found anything that helps except getting into my day as quickly as possible. The sooner I'm focused on tasks the better off I am.

I know it's torture but I believe things can get better so don't give up!

Cyran0

[lachrymose]

So I have a plan and a course of action for my sticky situation I've been in! There's a contract involved and I can't make a unilateral decision about one of the items that the other party wants to change.

But.......

My husband put me under a lot of pressure tonight to go ahead and email the other party and say no - can't do that. The situation is so that I can't (there's a small not for profit charity involved), but he is insistent. He has taken this to the point where he says that unless I do that or resign my position that he's done and will leave me cause he's tired of me not taking care of things the way I should. We agree on the correct curse of action, just not the way I can do it. We talked about it and he was saying the same thing over and over. He got mad cause a couple of the other people involved called me. He says that I dont need to listen to them, He's the one who has my back. I know he has my back and I trust him - I just disagree.

He's the type who sees things in black and white. In all my troubles with anxiety and depression - some of which he has caused or exacerbated - he hasn't been as supportive as I would have hoped. We had been married 15 years when it started 5 years ago. He's got a temper, and flies off the handle - although he was very calm tonight. He has said in the past that I need to just get over this, grow a spine, therapy is self indulgent, etc...

I love the man, but damn. And the funny thing is that he went thru some of his own anxiety issues last year. To the point he went to the ER once and had some heart tests.

Strangely my anxiety mellowed pretty fast. I had a long talk with my brother.

I'm just rambling now....but it helps to think it out.

I also use the word exacerbate too much.

[Cyran0]

I'm sorry your husband is being difficult. It's so hard when this person you love isn't acting the way you wish he would. Every relationship has those points it's just really bad timing for you.

I would try to lay your argument out for your husband as calmly and logically as possible. Try to get him to understand why you disagree and that you're not just being "spineless".

I'm glad talking to your brother helped your anxiety. It's awesome that you have him for support.

Cyran0

[sundog]

Hi (((((((lachrymose))))))) I'm really sorry to hear that your husband is pressuring you to do something that you don't agree with. Also, that he is not supportive of your anxiety issues even though he has had some personal experience of anxiety himself. That's really rough.

I'm glad it helped you to talk with your brother. Did he have any advice regarding this tricky contractual situation?

Keep talking here all you want. We're happy to listen and offer whatever support we can

[lachrymose]

I'm feeling much better today. It really has helped to type out some stuff - makes me listen to myself.

Had a good talk with the spouse....he's frustrated more than anything I think - he hates to see me get in one of my freaked out states. But he understands that I just cant do what he wanted.

My brother was good to talk to cause he understands me and the weird crap we grew up with. not abusive, not bad, not evil - nothing like that....just weird. very eccentric parents.

I'm appreciate of y'alls support!

[Ambrosa]

Hi Lachrymose, I hope things pick up for you

[Cyran0]

Glad to hear you're feeling better. And I'm really glad you and your husband were able to talk.

Take care and let us know how things are going.

Cyran0

[sundog]

Yay! Really glad to hear you've had a much better day today. And that you had a good talk with your husband. ((((((((lachrymose))))))))

[lachrymose]

Well I was feeling soooo much better about things, then I got the flu. Kinda made me want to sleep...which is good when you're sick. But sleeping is also one of my reactions to too much stress, so it's been weird.

I've been reading the forum today. thanks for being here.

[lavieenrose]

I haven't much to add that others haven't already said, but I wish you the best possible outcome in this situation.

[sundog]

Really sorry you've got the flu (((((((((lachrymose))))))))) Hope you feel better very soon

[lachrymose]

Flu is gone, but my anxiety is over the top today. I woke with a panic attack. My husband was great this morning in trying to help me, and we had another good talk. But it doesn't solve my issues.

Today is the day I have to deal with 'the issue'. I am feeling like I've made all the wrong choices, have let so many people down, and am going to be blamed. I am dreading this evening.

My therapist says I have a fear of rejection. I'm also a people pleaser and keep trying to please people who walk all over me and make me look foolish. Why can't I tell them to F-Off. the fear of being seen as unfriendly or a ***** or something. I wish in the deepest wells of my soul I could not give a crap what people think and stand up for myself.

Instead I worry and second guess. I put off making decisions for fear of making the wrong one, then make poor decisions and later regret them. I feel like I put the people who support me in awkward situations.

I just want it to all stop! I want to close my eyes tightly count to ten and when I open them, the ugliness is gone.

Until then...I guess I just have to face it. I don't know how, but I will find a way I suppose.

[Cyran0]

As someone who's had many days lately where I had to deal with big real life issues I know first hand what that does to your anxiety. I wish I had better advice but what I ended up doing was taking my Lorazapam and doing my best to suffer through what had to be done. The upside is that once it was over my anxiety did go down some.

It's hard but I know you're strong and can do this.

Cyran0

[sundog]

Good luck today ((((((((((((((((((lachrymose)))))))))))))))))) I'm keeping everything crossed and rooting for you

[lachrymose]

thank you guys a lot. i'm thinking positive thoughts.