Fighting social phobia, low self esteem and depression

Your right Denver D. I need to work on the root mental cause. I worry about the cost of therapy. I've heard self help books are good but I really want to see a therapist. I will look into sliding scale payments.

Thank you SlatkaMala. I know I can beat this.

Is anxiety a life long condition? Is it permanent?

I think it varies. Some people struggle with it their whole lives, others have it that long but keep it very well managed, and some have said they've been completely cured. I think it might depend a bit on the cause of the anxiety but the outcome is different for different people.

Cyran0

((((((((introvertguy)))))))))

there are a lot of people who feel that way, pressure financial issues. Much of this is due to the economy, its not your fault.

People who are very artistic tend to be somewhat introverted and even sensitive. Most of their outgoing energy is given thru creativity. You are very sensitive because you are a very good soul and you are very sensitive to the feelings of others. People can be hard to understand, some can be downright cold and selfish. But there are some nice people out there and they are probably like you, not going out and hanging out with the in crowd.

The fact that you chose to share your work is a really big step, your work is you so that is good. Keep striving in the arts, life can be hard right now, very challenging as people are afraid to spend money. But hang in there, keep up the artistic adventure. 33 is still young, keep the art but I don't see any reason to not check out other options. It is aways nice to have more than one kind of fruit in your basket.

Mark Twain ~The Good Shall be Lonely~

Open Eyes

IntrovertedGuy,

I am thinking about you and though I have responded to you I want you to come and visit me. Go to my statistics on my site and look up my advice to a young girl that is trying to learn how to build and protect her self esteem. You may find some answers to some questions that lay deep within yourself.

I want you to feel better, I know you can. And I want you to see that you are not alone.

Open Eyes

One thing with "most people" is that we don't know them. It's easy to look at what comes across our radar and form an opinion but it's like forming an opinion of Washington from looking at a map or reading about it; all the people there love water, coffee, and apples, right? And go over to Vancouver every weekend?

Being afraid to engage with another, share one's self and one's values, how can we then judge others as lacking in values and morals? (I do it too!) Is what we hear from them the total picture? Is what they hear/don't hear from us all there is of us? How would you feel if I judged you by the list of music you like/gave? You did not give that to me in order for me to decide "I like him, he's an okay guy" versus "Jeez, what a loser, get a load of what music he likes!" did you? No, I think you sincerely wanted me to get a better understanding of some point you were making about yourself, to get to know you better.

So, you are standing around the water cooler with several guys Monday morning and they are all commenting on the game yesterday. What do you hear? Wait a minute, that guy just said he didn't get to see it! But we skip over that, automatically assuming he wanted to see it, but see how smoothly he went into talking about what he was doing instead? That could be you? That could be you listening for "odd" little events that aren't about the game, the guy asking, "Man! What could be so interesting it kept you from watching the game?" You are one of "them", talking about the game only you aren't. Somewhere in there though you are learning more about some of the guys and it's not all bs. Somewhere there are other guys having to talk bs and about the game who wish they didn't have to but don't know how to talk about anything else because "all" the guys are doing it?

Very good Perna,
I am glad that you shared that, it is proof that you are a nice person and you don't mind opening up and helping someone else. Every time someone like you reaches out, something very special is happening. You have more self esteem, but instead of using it as a power over others or a way of abusing others, you instead choose to give. And, every time you give in this way you ADD to your own self esteem. And you know that you are taking a chance, but you now have enough self esteem so you can take that chance.

This is a good example of what people who have low self esteem do not realize. A good person is often shunned, because that happens, they are always left to feel it was their fault, they weren't good enough. And it doesn't always mean that, it just means that you have to learn how to care for your self esteem, how to have some courage in building it and always knowing that 'If you want to be good" you can.

Many people WANT CONTROL, they seem to think that this is High Self Esteem, they are better, they have more of something, a bigger house, more knowledge, more friends or social standing. So often they gain their power by attacking the self esteem of others. Some of them play on the self esteem of others pretending to respect it only to control it.

I went to a funeral today. The person who died was the richest person I knew. She did not have a big house. She was not a big politician. But she was rich in every way others were not. She was a good person and never attacked other's self esteem. Every one she met, she accepted and always respected their self esteem. Even the people who hurt her, she always remained gracious and her door was always open. She always thought of others and you could tell by her home and possessions that everything she had went to her children and even the children of others.

I have to say the church was PACKED, standing room only. I liked everyone I met and I saw the part of her that touched each person.
YES, IN ALL THE PEOPLE I HAVE SEEN OR MET, SHE WAS THE RICHEST ONE OF ALL.

It is ok to have self esteem, it is ok not to be perfect, and not everyone is going to respect you or treat you as they should. But if you are always gracious and keep your heart in the right place, you are going to be special no matter what.

Open Eyes

I have an idea and I know, I know... this may sound cheesy to some. To raise your self-esteem to get some post it's or tape and paper and write Good things about yourself and things you want to see yourself accomplish and write each one and then post them around your living area, apartment or home. who cares if others don't like it however imo, they must be positive short "I" statements.
My self-esteem was really bad, You seem to have much more then you even give yourself credit for now being able to write what you wrote out and dared too, so pat yourself on the back, I am honored to have been able to write a post to your thread so ! Good Luck in healing my friend,
later, Crew

Very good ideas crew, thank you for your input.

Open Eyes

Thanks all! I don't feel alone anymore. Wise words from all of you.

I'm very passionate about video games, the artwork, the creative process and of course they're fun. I worry every day that people won't "get it." I worry about that a lot.

That's nice, I am an artistic person too. And, I worry too at I know others don't always get it. But, you have to think of you introvertguy. Try to read the different forums. See where others are at and how they feel and talk about themselves and help each other. Then, you may think of something to share about yourself or you see something you have in common with someone else and you can make a small post or say more.
You can give a helpful opinion or even ask for a suggestion on one of your issues. Believe me there are others here just like you, could even have the same name, they are trying and posting.

If you want to, you can always visit my page and click on my statistics.
I don't start threads, I like to post to other's questions or needs. So you can search some of my posts and read, not only my posts but those of others. I sometimes post when I see some good ideas, just so it becomes part of my statistics and I can think about it more.

See? Give it a try, you are more than welcome here, everyone is trying.

Open Eyes