[feddy]

I had to get a minor procedure done this morning. Nothing serious, very routine but I have had it done before and I knew it would be painful. This time there was a second part to it which was new for me and I was quite anxious about what it would be like (and of course, what could - and according to my mind would - go wrong). It has been booked for about 3 weeks and I have been getting increasingly more anxious about it over the past few days.

The last two, in particular, have been bad. I have been picking fights with my husband to relieve tension (BAD...I know) and using lorazepam again. I haven't needed lorazepam in quite some time. I have been using it multiple times/day over the past few days just to get through. In any case, here we are this morning and of course, I pop my little pill with breakfast so that I can actually make it to the appointment.

Everything went fine, hurt a bit more than expected, but I am woman, hear me roar. I will survive. So I got dressed and started to leave. I must have looked bad at reception because the doctor looked at me and said, "If you're dizzy, you can sit down for a minute." But of course, all I wanted was to get out of there. So I took off. But the attack was well underway. I started to sweat like a MONSTER! My clothes were wet almost instantaneously. My hair started sticking to me. So I sat down outside in the shade to try and get control and breathe (and smoke...sorry, vice). Then I thought I'd go home. Got in my car and made it as far as the parking attendant before the nausea kicked in (still sweating like a ****). I looked at her and said sorry...gotta go back in. I barely had time to back up my car before I got sick all over the parking lot. In front of everyone. *sigh*

The rest of the details are unimportant. Suffice it to say, this went on for about 30 minutes, alternating between sweating, being sick, and being completely unable to think clear or try and figure out how to breathe, calm down or ask ANYONE for help (including my doctor, who was four floors up in the building).

This hasn't happened to me in well over a year. I forgot. There's a lesson here - don't ever forget the skills you learn when dealing with anxiety. You just never know when your little friend will creep back into your life.

But what really kills me is why did it happen AFTER everything was over? Really? Come on now...

[missbelle]

I usually crash after a crisis.......the reality of it sets in I guess. Sorry about your anxiety.Its not good.....I have that sweating thing too. I take an anxiety med but I sweat. I don't feel the anxiety in my stomach or whatever but I still sweat so somewhere the body knows I am anxious!
Thanks for your post!!!

[angel700]

Originally Posted by feddy

I had to get a minor procedure done this morning. Nothing serious, very routine but I have had it done before and I knew it would be painful. This time there was a second part to it which was new for me and I was quite anxious about what it would be like (and of course, what could - and according to my mind would - go wrong). It has been booked for about 3 weeks and I have been getting increasingly more anxious about it over the past few days.

The last two, in particular, have been bad. I have been picking fights with my husband to relieve tension (BAD...I know) and using lorazepam again. I haven't needed lorazepam in quite some time. I have been using it multiple times/day over the past few days just to get through. In any case, here we are this morning and of course, I pop my little pill with breakfast so that I can actually make it to the appointment.

Everything went fine, hurt a bit more than expected, but I am woman, hear me roar. I will survive. So I got dressed and started to leave. I must have looked bad at reception because the doctor looked at me and said, "If you're dizzy, you can sit down for a minute." But of course, all I wanted was to get out of there. So I took off. But the attack was well underway. I started to sweat like a MONSTER! My clothes were wet almost instantaneously. My hair started sticking to me. So I sat down outside in the shade to try and get control and breathe (and smoke...sorry, vice). Then I thought I'd go home. Got in my car and made it as far as the parking attendant before the nausea kicked in (still sweating like a ****). I looked at her and said sorry...gotta go back in. I barely had time to back up my car before I got sick all over the parking lot. In front of everyone. *sigh*

The rest of the details are unimportant. Suffice it to say, this went on for about 30 minutes, alternating between sweating, being sick, and being completely unable to think clear or try and figure out how to breathe, calm down or ask ANYONE for help (including my doctor, who was four floors up in the building).

This hasn't happened to me in well over a year. I forgot. There's a lesson here - don't ever forget the skills you learn when dealing with anxiety. You just never know when your little friend will creep back into your life.

But what really kills me is why did it happen AFTER everything was over? Really? Come on now...

i get my worst anxiety attacks after the bad is over - pent up adrenaline that has to go somewhere; sorry it had to go in front of everyone but, who cares? good thing to take from this - you MADE it girl and you didn't die even though the days leading up to the procedure probably made you feel like you were going to die!

[feddy]

Enter depression. Now I am going through the aftermath, withdrawing from my husband, emotional, irritable and tired. I am angry with him for not being with me today when that happened, even though we planned it that way (because I thought I'd' be okay) and he had a commitment that he couldn't move. I was just too stubborn to push out the appointment; I wanted to get it over with because I couldn't sit with the anxiety! Oh, the irony. It's not fair or rational to be angry at hiim - this isn't his fault at all. It's just me and my messed up brain who are responsible.

There is also anxiety about work tomorrow; will I still be in pain? Will it be manageable? What will I say if I'm asked about why I was off (it is very personal...)? Will hubby and I get over it? Will I be too distracted by all of this to focus? Tomorrow is a crazy day at the office and I'm already working myself into a major frenzy which is totally NOT necessary. All of this will just make things worse and guarantee a bad day on what otherwise might be a pretty good one. Oh man...this all sucks. I need my pdoc.

[lokeluche]

how are you doing now ?

My doc does not seem to understand how painful and horrible it is.