[Silent_tsol]

So in an attempt to figure out how to stay calm in certain situations, my T suggested the usual deep breathing, visualize, meditate etc. The problem is, I suck at it.
Deep Breathing - I only remember to do this when I'm calm. And yes that's good because I get calmer than the original calm, I'm also attempting to slow down my pace in life. Rather than rushing/running everywhere, I leave earlier (if I can- although I absolutely hate hate hate being late) and I walk slower (which I'm finding peaceful). But when I'm in anxiety/panic mode, how do you remember to cue the deep breathing?
Visualize - Ok, I might sound crazy here, but do you actually see something behind your eyes? I feel sort of defective because all I get is blackness with light blotches. If I visualize a beach, am I suppose to see a beach, or just be thinking about it
Meditating - Either I get distracted by things I need to deal with every 2 minutes or I fall asleep. And then if I do a guided meditation it tells me to visualize and I get distracted by my seemingly inability to visualize.

In case you didn't get all of that, I'm a coping skills disaster. I only see T every month or so (it's free through my college so it's not all that extensive) and sometimes when I actually get in I forget all of my issues so it's not all that productive. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to be calm, or how to get better at any of these skills?

In regards to being a beginner with deep breathing, visualizing, and meditation, I can definitely relate to you. Even though I'm just starting, I try to remember "No matter how short my meditation lasts, the fact that I did any amount of time is a success".

Deep breathing is pretty much self-explanatory. The issue is remembering to do it when the need arises. Like you, I usually only do the deep breathing when I'm calm. I suppose this takes practice.

Visualizing is a bit more complicated. For me, when I visualize a beach, yes, I do see a beach. The picture is not perfect because it's generated from my brain and not real, but the picture is there nonetheless. Maybe if you can't actually see the beach, it still may be beneficial to think about how it would feel to be on the beach...how the sand would feel warm under your feet, a refreshing breeze, etc. If you enjoy drawing, maybe you could draw a beach or another nature scene?

Meditation...that is the one I'm focusing on right now. What's helping me is I look for free videos online of meditation sounds (I meditate better with calming sounds than with silence) and I sit cross-legged with my hands face down on my thighs. I breathe in and out slowly and calmly, either thinking of nothing...or if a thought does come into my mind...I try to let it flow by like a river. Sometimes it's difficult though, because I can get some thoughts that worry me and get stuck on those! At the moment, I can achieve about 10 minutes of meditation a day, and I'm hoping that number grows as I continue to practice.

Of course, you'll have to figure out what works best for you. I'm sure after trying out different things, you'll find some great techniques for deep breathing, visualizing, and meditating. Best of luck to you!

Hmm...Breathing took a bit...as I recall, what I began doing was writing it down on scrapes of paper, and leaving them all over the place. Then, I'd begin to feel a "bit" anxious, could feel an attack coming on......I'd say in my mind, or even aloud, "BREATHE>>>BREATHE,in through the nose, slowly out through the mouth" I virtually chanted it to myself, now I just do it...although, I always have a paper bag ready--just in caseI wind up hyperventilating!!!

Visualizing--no you don't sound crazy to me (maybe it's just the two of us!lol) I close my eyes, and I see stuff...lines, "light blotches", then I let my mind take me to the sound I hear--WAVES crashing over and over to the shore--this is where I got to with it--not certain how I was able to do it--I just remember that the SOUND of the surf took me to the beach, and I now actually see a beach...can even taste the salt!

Meditation--if you have problems with Visualization; you would have a problem with Meditation.........

Have you ever tried Mindfulness??

The more I think about it, it was Mindfulness that helped me to conquer Visualization and Meditation..........yup!!!

Know why? Mindfulness=making yourself Mindless---you empty your brain out--you ditch all thought..........helped me a whole lot...wish you all good outcomes--pax-theo

[kaliope]

tsol
the most helpful thing for me was when my college T told me to relax when i was panicing because you cant panic and relax at the same time. that seemed to stick in my head so when i was superanxious, my mind would repeat, whatdoido, whatdoido and another part of me popped in with relax. whic includes the breathing. but reminding myself a lot when i am not anxious or upset of what i can do when i am anxious or upset seems to work. i do a lot of self-talk. its like a mantra -"you cant panic and relax at the same time","i recognize my anxiety, i embrace my anxiety, i release my anxiety"(as i breathe in and out) by practicing these things when i am not upset, they are more readily available to me when i am upset cause when i am upset i start grasping desperatelyat straws to make that feeling go away and these skills are right there because i have been thinking about them regularly...thats right, im supposed to breathe, relax. so i start using them and for the most part they work to reduce my anxiety.

visualizing - i dont "see" images either. i think them. if you go with it, you can still think a pretty good picture if you go to get all the senses involved. think what it would smell, feel, temperatures, sounds, sense the ground under yur feet, the wind in your hair. its a little more difficult than for those who can see the images but with practice yu can get a pretty good pic without the visual.

meditating - i suck at it. cant shut the mind down. too much noise.

maybe getting a relaxation tape could help you, just a simple one that goes through relaxing your muscles from head to toe so you know what your body feels like when it is relaxed. that way when you tell yourself to relax and breathe, your body will be able to respond.

good luck.

[Silent_tsol]

Thanks everyone, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who has troubles with these.

Theodora
I haven't tried mindfulness and don't know what it is, can you explain it?