[bellaviolet]

i haven't posted here in a while but lately things have been reeeeally bad. i am in a situation causing me enormous stress and with gad and ocd, i am nearing my breaking point. up to now i think i've been dealing with the anxiety of having noplace to live (i'm staying at a friend's but can't stay much longer and have nowhere to go from there) and a job that could go away at any time (my company is moving and eventually my department will be dissolved) very well. but everytime i get over one hump something else happens and every time it does the anxiety gets worse. i have made a lot of progress with my anxiety over the last few years and i hate feeling like i'm backsliding. i don't know that i'm really looking for advice as much as needing to vent to people who might understand where i'm coming from and maybe get a little support. the racing thoughts, the sweats, the heart pounding, the nervous tics, they had all gotten so much better and now they are back. plus, staying at someone else's home is bringing back my checking behaviors that i had been doing really well at controlling (like, if i leave the house after my friend i get terrified that i will leave something on or not lock the door. i had gotten better when it was my own place and my own stuff but feel a ton more responsibility for hers). and being depressive as well as anxious doesn't help. just needing a kind word or two from people who know where i'm at. i am desperate for things to stabilize for me even for a few months. if this keeps up i don't know that i'll be able to cope without losing ALL the progress i've made. this really sucks.

[Silent_tsol]

Wow with everything that's going on no wonder you've been feeling anxiety and stress! Did you do any T before to get through these issues? Can you go back for a few sessions? Or even just gather your thoughts on the coping skills you learned and find the best ways you can to apply them to your current situation
I hope you feel better

[bellaviolet]

it's been a few years since i last saw my t but the skills i learned from her in cbt have been what have helped me most in making so much progress. i am still trying to apply them and usually i do pretty well but lately i've just been getting overwhelmed by the avalanche that seems to be falling on me. and it's hard to explain to friends who don't have the same kind of issues that i do, how difficult it is to deal with. so i thought i'd come here and tell it to others who know what it's like to feel like you're suffocating from anxiety. thank you for your kind words and the hugs. i appreciate it. <3

[Phoboxyl]

Bella,

it sounds like you have really made a lot of progress DESPITE of what's happening now. Presently you are in a serious situation that is naturally very anxious, stressing, and depressing. Anyone would feel this way were they in your situation, let alone someone with GAD and OCD. Remember that these disorders are subject to environmental affects so when you are in trouble they flare up dramatically. If you hadn't improved you would be experience the same intensity of symptoms ALL the time, like you used to. Obviously you aren't so remember that you are doing much better. Think of it this way, you are now strong enough to get past this problem whereas before you quite possibly couldn't. Take the fact that you haven't completely fallen apart as a sign that YOU CAN DO THIS, don't focus on how "bad" you are doing.

Right now you might want to remember that other people often get into the same sort of trouble, get past it, and go on with their lives. So will you even though it's going to be much harder for you. I have a month to find a job or I'm going broke and getting kicked out my house. I have GAD, OCD, and GSAD. I very much understand how you feel because I am in a relatively similar situation. I'll get through this and get a job even though it's very scary and sometimes overwhelming. You're not alone, if I can do it then so can you. If you can do it then so can I.

Best wishes

[Perna]

Have you figured out a plan to find a new place to stay and applied for other jobs for when/before this one dissolves? The thing that helps me the most with my anxiety is actually doing something toward solving whatever problems I'm having.

[gma45]

You sound just like me. I worry about things that have not happened yet. Just like Perna mentioned, once I take action my anxiety seems to subside.

[bellaviolet]

thank you all for your replies. i guess i know i have improved because i haven't fallen apart completely, which probably would have happened if i was in this situation a couple of years ago. i just don't want to lose my progress and hope that once things settle down for me (and oh i hope they will soon) they improve again. but i have been proud of myself for keeping it together as well as i have.

perna, you make a good point. even though i have not made as much progress toward finding a new place as i would like (meaning that i just haven't found one yet), it feels productive just to be looking very proactively. i think that does help.