[OneRedRose]

Hey, well I decided to put this in this section because its about my anxiety, but its the situation I need some support for;

Tomorrow I am visiting my friend (well...an old friend that I ended friendship with a long time ago) in prison because I have heard his really having a tough time, so I wrote to him and asked for a visiting order, which he sent. so Im off to see him tomorrow.

but the prison his in, is where I used to be employed, the place that fired me for catching me sitting down, despite the fact that I have a disability that requires me to have a place to sit at all times, it was also the place that had me sent onto another job where I had a complete meltdown, its also the place where I had an accident that sent me to hospital.

not only will I be returning, have my old co-workers looking at me and being searched like I used to search others, but the room where visits take place is the exact same room that I had the accident in.

im so anxious, its something I need to do though, my friend is not in a good place, and despite our friendship ending a long time ago...I still care.

I cant take my usual meds to calm me before the visit, I dont know what to do....any advice?

[alwaysrejoice]

Why can't you take your meds? if it makes you feel better, you are doing the right thing for your friend! How long has it been since you left there? Maybe a lot of the same people won't be there anymore?

[Ygrec23]

You're only going to be there for a very short time. You know that. You've been through the drill before, just on the other side of the fence. As you sit and talk with your friend, the minutes will automatically slide away toward the end of the visit and your being out on the street again.

Visiting a place that has bad memories in it is like visiting a cemetery where all your family is buried. A combination of sadness and anxiety. But you know you will survive. That is a certainty. You will survive. After a very brief time you'll be driving or riding away to your home and the visit will be a memory. It is very courageous of you to go see your old friend in such circumstances. You can be quite proud of yourself and what you're doing.

What are you doing? You're braving a very painful and challenging situation solely in order to bring comfort to a suffering friend. Not for any selfish reason of your own. You are a brave person. And a kind and loving person. You have value, serious value. Don't sell yourself short. A person like you, a person with the kind of guts and compassion you have, does not have to feel threatened at any time. Take care.

[OneRedRose]

@alwaysrejoice, I cant take the meds because, well I can take my usual meds but the ones im referring to are valium which make me sleepy, I cant take that before a visit, if they think im under influence of anything they wont let me in, and i wont be much help to my friend. its been about 2 years but knowing my luck majority still be their

@Ygrec23, thank you your words brought a smile to my face, I just wish I felt as courageous as I sound I used to occasionally work sunday visits, so thats going to feel odd, slowly feeling the anxiety building up, but like you said I will only be there for a short period, and time will go faster once me and my mate start chatting away...its just getting their.

[alwaysrejoice]

Let us know how it goes! Be brave! You're a survivor!

[OneRedRose]

it went ok, had a slight panic on the bus on the way, but once I got in their I saw a friendly face, and then another guard over heard me speaking to the first guard so he was friendly and chatty too me, once I was chatting too my friend it was ok, I was surprised I done so well, I felt very sick at one point anxiety induced nausea. But I survived, got out waited for bus and got distracted by the mystery of why almost every car that passed a certain tree would spray the water to clean their windows, was odd! weird thoughts I know but it kept me calm.