[supraguy17]

I seem to have the ability to turn any good thing I am experiencing into something bad. I over analyze every situation and every moment of my day and usually end up with some negative thoughts. With my anxiety I tend to go right from enjoying myself to pinpointing something to get upset about. In my relationship my girlfriend likes to go out to bars and what not.She usually goes out with her friends but lately she has been asking me to go with her. I feel hesitant to go out and I am anxious already for our new years plans.Is it better to stay home and worry about what she is up too while she is out or better to go out and be anxious and find something to get upset about anyway..

I find this is the issue in any relationship that I am in.I have started seeing a T about my anxiety/depression actually only one session is so hopefully I can get some better insight on this issue.

So does anyone else deal with anxiety like this? What have you found to be effective ways of dealing with anxiety relating to relationships?

[Ipod1]

I can completely relate to what you're saying man. I was with a girl for three years. She's in college and I was when we met but due to a couple things I stopped going. She wanted me to start going out with her and I did on a few occasions. She really wanted me to go to Chicago with her to see her family which is 6 hours from here. I told her I'd go. I really didn't want to only because of anxiety. It tore her up when I told her I wasn't going to go. Which is understandable. One time she wanted me to go rafting with her friends but once again I didn't go because of anxiety. And eventually it all lead to our break up. Whenever I actually did go do things with her and push the anxiety aside it was great. I'm really hoping she'll give me another chance. I know it hurt her me not going out with her, and doing things normal boyfriends do. But what I'm trying to get at with this story is. If you love her and don't want to lose her. Just go for it man. Don't let your anxiety rule you. It is so hard I understand. But really. Just go with it. Go out with her and at least try. Who knows you may have fun. And she'll know you're trying. So yes. Absolutely go out with her. Every chance you get. I regret everything I've ever lost out on with her and I due to anxiety. Hope this helps. And good luck.

[Ipod1]

And oh yes. Staying home worrying about what she's doing drove me nuts. So yeah anybody know how to deal with it better than we did?

[Severijn]

Hey supraguy...

I wish there were really easy answers and solutions for these kind of problems. But usually it takes quite a lot of reading/counseling/changing to change these kind of things.

An idea is to learn more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Perhaps buy a CBT workbook online somewhere.

When you're having a anxious/negative thought, become aware of it and catch yourself doing it. Then challenge yourself. Usually your thoughts come from year-long habits of thinking in ways. Sometimes these ways are not the best.

Btw, when you're girlfriend is out partying and you're alone, I think it's pretty normal to be a little worried about it. Of course if you trust your girlfriend completely it's no big deal. If you go with your girlfriend for a couple of times, I think the anxiety will go away.

One way to overcome anxiety is to slowly Expose yourself to anxiety-provoking situations. So every now and then, do some you feel anxious about. In the moment, watch your thoughts, and afterwards think if you can think differently and better about that situation.

You can definitely do something about anxiety. Good going that you're seeing a councillor, that can make a difference.