[BrokenNBeautiful]

Ever since the divorce, I have had to face major anxiety from being alone.

I am a champion with this independence thing, but I still especially have trouble at night.

I cannot sleep alone and my new bf Andy has been sleeping with me.

When he has to go away for the day, I cannot stop fixing my mind on him. I find myself dependent on him for how I feel about myself.

We are not committed in a relationship, but I still don't like being alone.

And I am ashamed to admit this.

As I said, I love being independent.

I seem to not worry about what strangers think, but I am always worried about what Andy thinks.

He says, "Billi, you have my love and respect. Why are you so worried about that?"

I don't know why.

Billi

[jitters]

I went through something similar following my divorce, except I didn't have male companionship to fall back on. I was desperate to find a new relationship because I was emotionally needy - which never turns out well, as any relationship formed under duress is doomed to fall apart before long. And then there was the little problem of never wanting to go anywhere or do anything unless I had a security blanket (husband/bf) by my side.

The end of a relationship is usually more traumatic for those of us with MIs because all of a sudden we're bereft of our "crutch" that we've been leaning on, and we're faced with not only heartbreak, but all of our issues we were able to brush under the rug and avoid dealing with when we had that crutch to lean on.

Have you considered therapy?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I have been in therapy and I am OUT now.

It has not helped.

but thanks.

I do appreciate your experience with your anxiety.

I am doing a lot of research on anxiety and causes of it.

I am beginning to think that a large part of my anxiety is from feeling inadequate without a man or someone to constantly approve of me.

This is why I have made a tremendous effort to be emotionally independent. I can't keep perpetuating my life legacy of desperation.

Billi

[kindachaotic]

Hello everyone, I am not so new to PC but new to this forum.

My dx are ADHD, Panic Disorder w/o agoraphobia & Bipolar II.
I have a pdoc, great T & am on meds. but they are not the cure all be all.

My separation anxiety is not from a divorce, although I have been divorced more than once. Never missed the husbands, just had to go into survival mode. Had a small child to raise & felt like a robot.

Anyway my issue here is my mom. She is 78 yrs old & has early to moderate Alzhiemers. She isn't there for me anymore, if you've heard the saying they become the child & you become the parent. Well it's true & it's heartbreaking. I have grieved over this for about a year & a half & based on statistics this could go on for years. I miss my mom.

So that's what causes me anxiety as my parents live 6 hrs away & my dad is in denial & hateful with her.

There are many more things that I have anxiety over or have a panic attack for no reason... but they are for another thread.

Thanks for listening.