[clouds_and_sun]

Hi,
How do you react and feel when someone tells you "oh go out and make more friends....." and you are pretty sure that they know you have social phobia?
OH I can't tell you how upset this makes me. I feel like a defect and it makes me wish I was dead cause I don't know how to do something (as they say) as simple as making friends. They suggest I join an social organization like a church or something. Thinking of doing that brings great fear and panic to me.
Now, I had a dear friend on this site suggest that I join a knitting class, see I see nothing wrong with that suggestion cause it is a class and I will be focusing on my work (which in this case would be knitting). The class would be fun and I would learn something too. But joining a social group like a church is almost paralizing to me mentally and it is depressing cause of my social phobia.
I just wish people could be more sensitive to others and put themselves in other's shoes and see how hard it is for us who suffer from social phobia. It also irked me when I had a T (6 years ago) tell me that that I need to make more friends, ahhh I just wanted to screem at her, that was the last time I went to visit with her. I had another T (my last one) laugh at me when I said I have social phobia, she basically said that social phobia is a bunch of bull....
My only offline friend can't swim, that is her phobia, I would never for the life of me suggested her to come swimming with me and tell her that it will make her feel better. If she wants to learn how to swim she will come up to me and ask or go take swimming lessions.
Anyway, I would love to hear how you deal with people who say "oh you need to make more friends......"? Maybe I can learn better how to handle this topic, something that deeply depresses me when people say things like that!

[gimmeice]

I have learned that unless a person actually experiences phobias or other types of mental health issues they don't have a good understanding of what it feels like so they don't know what to say. This type of situation reminds me of people at a funeral, they want to say something to help ease the pain but they usually stumble and end up saying the wrong thing.

The suggestion of taking a class is a good one, you are in a social situation without all the pressure to socialize, like you said you can concentrate on the class.

[kindachaotic]

clouds_and_sun, You have just written my life story. People tell me the same thing & I get so sick of it. They will never get it, they are not in our shoes.

I have always been socially awkward, don't know how to make friends. I almost have a panic attack at the thought of trying to find the door to go in to some place new...

Yes, I have a T, a pdoc & take meds. I am 54 years old & need friends.
I don't have any answers for you or me, just know you are not alone.

Saw a new T today that I really like, maybe things will improve.

Hang in there & I will too.