[ur_ladybird]

I'm in the process of filling out my ESA benefit form out (UK here). Having left it up to the last minute I have two days left to hand in my form. I know there is help with filling out this form but because of my social anxiety disorder I felt unable to ask for it. Having finally faced up to it today I have spend most day trying to just find out how I go about filling the form so I won't be asked for a medical or turned down. Absolute nightmare which has me shaking all over and in streams of tears. Not doing too well with it... Understatement of the year!

How do others go about getting help? I find the fear of interacting with others makes it difficult to explain /talk to even the doctor about it. That is, if I can get myself to make the appointment in the first place and then get myself to attend the appointment. I just can't imagine being the only one having problems asking for help which is so desperately needed.

Any advise or own experiences is appreciated as this ESA form is just one thing, major today, but only one out of many situations where asking for help is not happening. It feels a little like in my head I am screaming for help and if I'm talked to, I barely get a sentence together which formulates what I need.

[doglover5]

You could be writing about me in that post instead of you!! I deal with the exact same struggles all the time. Not to mention i have been wanting to make my dog an ESA or service dog for a while now, but cant get over the anxiety that keeps me from doing all that needs to be done to get it accomplished! (past training my dog, that is) Why does no one seem to even be able to imagine how excruciatingly torturous these difficulties are for us?? I feel like this at least. So very frustrating. Unfortunately I have no helpful advice hopefully someone else will. it's nice to know I'm not alone, hope that fact comforts you as well.

[ur_ladybird]

Originally Posted by doglover5

You could be writing about me in that post instead of you!! I deal with the exact same struggles all the time. Not to mention i have been wanting to make my dog an ESA or service dog for a while now, but cant get over the anxiety that keeps me from doing all that needs to be done to get it accomplished! (past training my dog, that is) Why does no one seem to even be able to imagine how excruciatingly torturous these difficulties are for us?? I feel like this at least. So very frustrating. Unfortunately I have no helpful advice hopefully someone else will. it's nice to know I'm not alone, hope that fact comforts you as well.

You have no idea just how much it means to me to know I'm not alone in feeling this way! At one stage I was ready to sign myself into a mental institution... Because I didn't know how else to get help. I managed to talk a little to my doctor instead, admitted to suicidal thoughts to her, but still hadn't managed to get across to her that I want to see a psychologist. My lucky break so to speak was a standing appointment with a pain psychologist who wrote an urgent letter to my doctor asking me to be referred. So now I'm waiting for an appointment for that.
I am certain if I had been able to communicate my social anxiety more effectively my overall anxiety and agoraphobia would not be as bad as it is today.

Thank you so much for your reply.

[Silent_tsol]

I can absolutely relate to the feeling of not knowing how to ask for help without panicking. I'm having the exact problem with my college right now. Haven't figured out how to deal with that one yet. As far as doctors, and I may have more trouble going because I have a phobia of needles and I'm afraid of getting one any time I have an appointment. I often freeze up and can't explain how I'm feeling.

I've found a few forms I like from this site http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm
and I try to fill them out regularly and take a folder with me to doctor's appointments because then I don't stress as much about figuring out how to say "help". The doctor has my feelings there and can interpret it as needed

[ur_ladybird]

Thank you so much for the link. I just had a look at it and it's a brilliant idea. I've also looked around and am thinking of doing a cognitive web based course. This could be linked to my doctor directly... Question is, can I push myself enough into doing it as I have big time avoidance going on as well.

Maybe that is an empty spot in the market place. A service specifically for people with social anxiety... A befriender kind off... Would have to be able to be contacted by email so. I only just realised that I'm not on my own with my phone phobia after looking into filling this form.

[Silent_tsol]

Could you set up a "class time" where you could work on the course? Pretend your attendance is being marked? Set a s schedule of goals on finishing certain amounts.

I think once you get into the idea of having someone "nudge" you those people would start charging and I'm always leary about paying for online services

Found another one. Actually a link from the first site

www.moodgym.com
And www.e-couch.com

[ur_ladybird]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

Could you set up a "class time" where you could work on the course? Pretend your attendance is being marked? Set a s schedule of goals on finishing certain amounts.

I think once you get into the idea of having someone "nudge" you those people would start charging and I'm always leary about paying for online services

Found another one. Actually a link from the first site

www.moodgym.com
And www.e-couch.com

The one I was looking at was a link my doctor apparently had recommended over a year ago (so my son tells me). Apparently it comes highly recommended partly because doctor and patient both can access it.

http://www.llttf.com/

I think you can buy literature but the course itself is free once you sign up.
I have to admit, after having nearly finished filling out a benefit claims form I am very tempted just taking a copy of that to anyone who is interested and say to them... This is what my life is like... Now help me. I have huge problems communicating to people what is actually wrong with me as I partly can't get over the anxiety and partly feel so embarrassed for having an anxiety in the first place.... One of my fav thoughts used to be.... How stupid must I be that I can't even listen to messages on an answering machine never mind about using a phone. I guess the worst part is that if anyone was to say to me they feel similar I would jump to help and it would never come to me to judge them. I just can't figure how I can be so hard on myself that I become disabled by it... Really really don't get that part.