[Callmebj]

When I am highly stressed, I feel unfocused, somewhat helpless, confused, not able to concentrate beyond the problem at hand...and the problem at hand is something that takes me forever to figure out how to deal with it.
I've spent a whole night trying to focus on writing a letter to address a concern of personal need. I've done this more than once. I feel pushed to succeed with the task at hand, and yet it is taking such a huge effort.

When I get like this, I do feel almost infantile, like a frightened little girl who has no one to sooth her. I've written of this once before, and someone mentioned my inner child and I can buy that, even though I not sure what to do about it.

I am a rather proud woman, and feeling helpless/infantile is something that I really hate to feel. Usually I feel some in control of my life, so I'm disappointed in myself when I feel weak. Yes I have lots of hurts from my past life, but I have worked through much of this.

The problem/stress right now I'm dealing with has a lot of my future riding on it. If it fails, I will be completely lost financially for any future hope.
So, my question is..is this anxiety, what is the childlike feelings, and is there anything I can do to combat going into days of what I feel is
a weakened state of being? I hope this makes sense to someone.

bj

[Gus1234U]

this is a common side effect of anxiety. i can't explain it, but i do know that it can be "managed", or improved, by learning skills such as focusing on the breath, slowing it down gradually; counting with the breath, 1001, 1002, 1003,, for as long as you need to; delaying actions and decisions at least 15 minutes to let the kidneys clean out the bloodstream of stress chemicals; distracting yourself from the stressful thoughts by reading, reciting, meditating, etc.; and deferring important activities until you have more control. remember to keep your blood sugars up by having a snack or fruit juice or something when you are stressed, and right afterwards.

i know this is not always easy in real life, so it's good to practice these skills while you are not feeling at your worst, but rather when you are feeling only slightly stressed. i hope you find the concept of skillful means to be helpful to you,,, best wishes,, Gus

[Rosie23]

I get the same way. But I am pretty sure I know where mine comes from.
I have generalized anxiety disorder, but it goes hand in hand with my ptsd.

I have spent the last 2 weeks right where you are. I am almost 99% focused on the situation triggering this. I still go to work and I come home, but other than that I am mostly frozen and I will stay that way until I get beyond what has triggered it. I can also be cranky and snippy.
I have to drag myself to accomplish other tasks and the more I tell myself to stop, the worse it gets.

Depending on what is triggering this, I too can feel like the helpless little girl, but that is the ptsd. Emotional memories do not go away and I know that is why I have that reaction.

As soon as I get beyond the event triggering this, and the outcome isn't the same as the original trauma, I will be fine. I do not let myself avoid these things. It is only from getting through them that I will be able to make it go away. Easier said than done.

I hope some day I won't have to experience this as often. If I search my memories hard enough, I can always find the experience that triggers it.

[Callmebj]

Thank you Gus for the tips. I've never thought about the stresses having a bearing on my health; but that makes a good deal of sense. I will try these tips in the future.

Rosie, yes, I do have PTSD and I can easily see the connection. I envy you on your ability to even work
with this. I don't feel snippy but very unsure and humiliated by not having the ability to focus in what I am doing or saying. It kinda tears down my usual self-respect on
a temporary basis.

My memory that seems to be clearest in time that might be the root of bringing this on, was when I was about 3, I was extremely frightened by a
train. We must have been pretty close to a train track, and the whistle had me
in a panic; I remember winding myself up in a curtain in a door frame and being upset and crying. My mother did not sooth me, but got after me for crying and was angry at me. I guess in some ways, I have worked through much of the mental and physical abuse. It feels like that girl wrapped in the curtain again when I am overly stressed.
Such a small thing in my memory; because some of the others abuses were much more traumatic.

When these stresses do come up in life, I do my best to address the issue at hand
quickly and I am driven to get through the pain and solve the problem, even though I am not functioning to the maximum. According to what Gus has said, maybe I do need to order a time out for myself instead of my natural instinct to be driven to closure.

Thanks for reading and for the great advice. hugs, bj

[myrtle1976]

When I am extremely stressed, I get very shaky and there is no hiding it, can'y hold a cup of coffe without spilling it. The one thing I do no matter what, is I go to a quite place and say to myself breathe, deeply in the nose and slowly out the mouth, I sometimes can only do it a minute but sometimes ten. Every little bit helps. I learned this in the mid 1970s, before yoga, concentrating on breathing became popular. I still practice this every day.

[Rosie23]

I need to learn to breathe then myself. It would be a blessing if something like that can cleanse the stress chemicals from your system. I will have to try to learn to do that.

Thank you Gus

[Marla500]

I second Gus and Myrtle, it really does help very much.