[ebatts]

I have anxiety attacks whenever I have to be in front of groups of people, whether I know them or not. I do alright when there are just 2-3 people, but anymore than that and I start to panic: my heart races, I start shaking, I stutter more than normal. I don't like being the center of attention at all. I always feel that someone in the group (or everyone) is talking about me or laughing at me when I'm not looking. I don't take negative criticism very well to begin with, so imagining people making fun of me just makes me want to cry. Somehow I manage to hold myself together long enough to get through whatever it is.

I really hate this part about myself because I always daydream about being this person who changes history in some way or another. I've tried voluntarily getting in front of crowds, but the moment that I see their faces and everyone is quiet, the attack begins. I've tried staring at a spot on the wall, imagining people in their underpants, but nothing seems to work.

I have a complete panic, anxiety, when I have to speak to a group of people. Especially people I don't know. not only getting in front of a group (for instance, public speaking event) but simply speaking with a group of people.

The moment I realize people are actually listening, and I am the focus of attention, that's it (the trigger), I fall apart. I feel ashamed, get embarrassed and start having a panic. I want to run away. Sometimes when I am talking to someone, even just the sound of my own voice bothers me (like I am wasting everyone's time with my breath and feelings/thoughts).

I just started therapy 3 months ago so I don't have any tips or tools to overcome this...but I can totally relate to what you are saying.

[ebatts]

Yeah I have a really hard time convincing myself that people want to hear what I have to say. People put me down my entire life, and I think that's probably where it stems from. I've lived with this constant thought that nothing I say is important and no one cares. My little brother pretty much treats me the same way sometimes. It really hurts.

I think we may have the same sibling! I'm with you. It hurts - a lot.

[ebatts]

I wonder if it's just part of male adolescence?

He's in town this week - and (as usual) I'm a nervous wreck. When I know he's coming in from NY, I get excited that I am going to see him, I see him and feel awful, then I get totally nervous (anxiety) and exhausted ... and then depressed. I usually cry at some point during his visit to LA. Working on it with my T.

(he doesn't know how I feel - and he couldn't care less)

[ebatts]

My brother and I have a pretty good relationship, but he starts getting jerky and ignorant sometimes and that's when I start losing it.

I don't actually have a therapist, just a psychiatrist. Sometimes I don't think he really is the best person to talk to :/

My P, $50 for 5 minutes so I have to talk really fast!
Yah, he isn't Dr. Warm and Fuzzy lol

[ebatts]

Oh man. lol. I've been seeing my psych since I was 8. The appointments are usually 15 minutes long. Would be longer if I learned how to open my mouth about things that were bothering me.

[lancetrot]

Originally Posted by ebatts

Oh man. lol. I've been seeing my psych since I was 8. The appointments are usually 15 minutes long. Would be longer if I learned how to open my mouth about things that were bothering me.

You are fortunate to have appointments for 15 mins long. Not many people do not have the luxury to hold it.

[ebatts]

I mean it's usually just "Hey, how ya doin'? How's work? What are you doing this weekend? Okay see you in x weeks." I really need a therapist, I don't think my psych really likes talking about my problems.