[Kellarella]

Hey Everyone!

I came across this site, had a look through some of the posts, great place!!
Thought it might be the right place for me to share my experience...

So Hi everyone! My name is Kelly, I am 20 years old from Australia. I Experienced my first panic attack when I was on a jury about a month ago. The case I was on was quite horrific. I didn't think it was affecting me at all before I had the panic attack, even though my friends and boyfriend started to ask me whether I was ok, and noticed that I was acting quite different.
On the third day of the court case, I had a panic attack in the court, did not see it coming at all!! Was the scariest thing I have ever experienced!!

So following that, I had severe anxiety about going back to the court the next day and ended up getting myself so hysterical my mum had to come to my house and take me to a doctor who sent them a certificate saying that I wouldn't be fit to continue jury juty.

So that's where it should have stopped. I should have been able to settle down after knowing I never had to go back but instead started experiencing the really scary symptoms of anxiety such as derealisation and depersonalisation which scared me so much, I developed a fear of the fear. I developed severe anxiety about what was happening to me, thinking i was totally losing the plot.

The next few days to follow that were the scariest of my life. I went through phases where I would scream and cry that I was going crazy, that I would never be the same again etc etc, then go through phases where I felt fine. It was the most confusing few days of my life! not to mention the lack of sleep and not eating at all which made it worse.

Since then I have seen the doctor again, a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I am on Lovan antidepressents, have been on them for two and a half weeks now. I was also perscribed Vallium but haven't taken it yet.

So it has been about four weeks since the initial panic attack. I have had a couple of smaller ones since then but nothing major. I am still seeing the psychiatrist about the medication and seeing a really good psychologist and start therapy with her this week.

I feel like I have gotten over the initial stress reaction but I am still left with this really weird feeling, like everything is unreal to me, and I get really confused really easily. Each day I wake up and it is the first thing on my mind and I don't stop thinking about it all day. I am so confused whether I am still anxious or whether the medication is making me feel really weird!!

But overall, I think I am getting a lot better, each day although completely different, seems better in small ways!!

I would love to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience, or anyone who has anxiety in general!!

(what an essay!!!!)

Kel xxx

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Hi Kelly I am getting ready to go to bed but wanted to stop in and say Hi and welcome to PC..I too have had bad anxiety...even to the point of panic...having to run out of places and all..I am glad I got out of jury duty I feared what you went through...I am a lot better too now days but man it can be hard to flip out like that

[Sabrina]

There is no jury duty where I am from but I could imagine, with my anxiety levels, that I might have experienced a similar thing. It must have been very terrifying for you. It is good that you sought help as quickly as possible. You are still in the early days of your medication so it is very possible that you could be feeling side-effects. I can say though, that I also experience a very "unreal" feeling, even long after a panic attack.

I hope you continue to go from strength to strength.

And welcome!

[JustBen]

So sorry to hear about your panic attacks, Kel. Glad you found PsychCentral. It's full of great and supportive people.

[gossamer]

My anxiety started with a panic attack also. Then every day I was anxious about being anxious to the point where I gave myself physical symptoms. It's gotten better since I've been on meds. I thought about the anxiety from waking until sleep like you did (when I could sleep, that was)

[lavendersteph]

hey kelly i'm steph things will be ok it takes times to get better i also suffer from severe anxiety thats all i ever think about now i'm a lexapro for depression it working and the best stuff on earth klonipin for my anxiety i love it i feel great but remember every med works differently for everyone what is good for me may not be for you i had that bad experience with seroquel i'll never go near that stuff again but i hear it's great for others anyhow u have our support we have all become a big huge loving family so welcom to pc i hope your time with us will be enjoyable if u are ever anxious at night it;s a great time to chat with felllow pc members ok so take it easy one step at a time soon u will feel relief love stephy

Hi! glad you found us....there are tons of supportive people here. anxiety can kick butt, but it sounds as if you're getting the right help. xoxoxo pat

[JAR001]

Kel-

It's interesting that you mentioned a jury duty. I first had panic attacks and anxiety disorder when I worked as a probation officer in Miami. The court room made me so, so anxious. Best of luck. Jose

[Azalysa]

Hi, Kelly, welcome to PC!

My first panic attacks/anxiety began when I was about your age and unfortunately centered around work of all things. I have had panic to the point of walking out of jobs. It took a long time before I went to a pdoc. Prior to that I felt like I must be such a failure...I mean...everyone else in the world can go to work, right?

I am so glad you got to see some professionals really quickly. Between therapy and the right meds for you...life will get back to whatever "normal" is.

Please feel free to PM me anytime!

[brianm101]

Hi Kellarella, I hope that you get what you need from this site. I know that I have. Don't worry about the critics, just take what you need.

Brian

[Myzen]

Hi Kelly,

If your panic attack came on because of a stressful situation there is a good chance that you can settle back to normal, as long as you don't have to go into a similar situation.

The problem with panic is that once we have experienced it we tend to hold that fear in the back of our minds and it can haunt us. IMO the mind doesn't like to be out of control, and it doesn't easily forget the experience.

If you can think about other things and move on, I think this could pass. Only a proportion of people who have one panic attack end up with panic disorder, for others it just goes away.

Good luck and good thoughts,

M.