Problems in school

Hi.

I'm 16 and am in high school.

This past year in school, I've been struggling with my anxiety a lot. Especially during class discussions, my anxiety gets extremely severe to the point where I cannot speak. Thus earning me a bad grade.

I was excused from discussions for the end of this past year. However, I have another school year (and college) coming up and am concerned about how other teachers will receive this.

Does anyone have any ideas? I feel so bad about just getting exempted, I feel like the teacher will hate me.

I have a really hard time in school as well. There were just to many people, all the talking and crowds and faces were to much for me to handle. I would get panic attacks when I had to work in groups so my teachers would always let me work alone, but my grades started slipping more and more, also because I'd usually just end up leaving school because of the anxiety. My therapist was able to get me on a home hospital leave to finish up the year and that helped me and my grades out a lot. Maybe you can try for something like that? Or online schooling, most likely doing that myself next year.

I've considered online schooling but there are certain aspects of my actual school that I couldn't bear to leave. I'm hoping that I can work things out at the beginning of the year next year, it's just already causing a lot of anxiety for me.

My teacher this year was really understanding since anxiety runs in her family but I'm nervous that other teachers won't get it or will think I'm just giving up.

Yeah I know what you mean, I had a hard time leaving school for a couple reasons. Are you seeing a therapist or counsler? Having a doctor's note could give them a bigger push to help you, but I'm sure even without one you cuold talk to your school counsler or teacher about your problems and they'd be more than happy to accomodate you. When I was still attending regular school I was able to work something out with my teachers where I could leave class to settle myself down when things got overwhelming for me in class.
Best of luck to you!

I am not seeing anyone for any of my problems.

This past year I had to get a doctors note to exempt me from discussion but I just still feel like the teachers are going to hate me for it. It just causes me to have so much anxiety.

I feel like teachers are going to not understand and are going to dislike me because I can't do everything other students can do. I hate the thought of people, especially teachers, disliking me so I don't know what to do but I'm really stressing about it.

I think your anxiety is making you think things are going to be catastrophic. You're anticipating that teachers aren't going to like you when you don't know this for sure.

Yes, you say they're going to hate you... but for what reasons? because you need to be treated differently? you feel like you're somehow cheating or making excuses for having anxiety?

Fact. You can't stop other peoples judgment of you. People are going to like or not like you. All you can really do is change your attitude and learn not to take it so personally. I'm sure there are people you like and not like so much too. And people you make judgments about.

Why don't you just wait and see how things go in the new term. Take action when you understand the situation better. I don't know if you should look at short-term or avoidance solutions as that won't benefit you in the long term. Why don't you consider getting some professional help to assist you with your anxieties? Because they will follow you around wherever you go until you decide to sort them out. Avoidance only takes care of the situation temporarily.

I too have problems in school due to social anxiety. It began in fifth grade after experiences with bullying that left me terrified of being judged by other people. I didn't want anyone to see me - I wanted to be invisible. My anxiety is still present, but therapy has brought it down to a (mostly) tolerable degree. I would highly recommend speaking to someone about it. Is there a school counselor available that you'd feel comfortable talking to once the school year starts again?

I don't think your teachers would hate you for not speaking. Maybe go in before class when the teacher is there so that you can explain why you'd rather not be included in the class discussion. You don't have to go into details - just mention that public speaking makes you very uncomfortable and that you'd be able to function much better in class if you didn't participate. If you'd like, you could offer to do extra credit work or write down your feelings pertaining to the conversation and give them to the teacher rather than voicing them aloud. Of course, there's always going to be a real hard-nosed one who would argue that speaking up in spite of your difficulties would be good for you. Many of them simply do not understand what it's like to live with an anxiety disorder - they chalk up your feelings to "normal teenage shyness". In this case, speaking with a principal or parent who can contact the school might help the teacher better understand your feelings. Please know that you are not "weird" or anything like that - I bet more people than you know at school have the same issue.