[uchiha]

Hi everyone,

I am about to enter an unavoidable stressful situation. Tomorrow I will be visiting my in laws. Since stress is a trigger for my panic attacks, I know I will be having a few. I will be visiting my in laws for 2 weeks. Any tips or suggestions on how to minimize the stress or my reactions to my attacks is much appreciated.

Originally Posted by uchiha

Hi everyone,

I am about to enter an unavoidable stressful situation. Tomorrow I will be visiting my in laws. Since stress is a trigger for my panic attacks, I know I will be having a few. I will be visiting my in laws for 2 weeks. Any tips or suggestions on how to minimize the stress or my reactions to my attacks is much appreciated.

Two weeks? Remember to breathe and don't get any haircuts. Actually I do find that trying to keep a sense of humor helps. I've found that most people don't notice my anxiety even when it's pretty high. Knowing that could help. Also try not to focus on the possibility of anxiety. I've found that anxiety kind of feeds on itself and grows. Hopefully someone will come along with some useful suggestions. Good luck to you

[TRNRMOM]

Originally Posted by uchiha

Hi everyone,

I am about to enter an unavoidable stressful situation. Tomorrow I will be visiting my in laws. Since stress is a trigger for my panic attacks, I know I will be having a few. I will be visiting my in laws for 2 weeks. Any tips or suggestions on how to minimize the stress or my reactions to my attacks is much appreciated.

you didn't mention whether you'll be staying under the same roof w/in laws or at a hotel. for your sanity, maybe staying elsewhere will be a benefit to everyone..don't know whether they know your emotional state or not but you might disclose it to them..even risk their not understanding, but first and foremost, you need to take care of yourself. everyone in the world knows i'm bipolar and what my stressors are, and when i get too stressed, i either return to hotel or if staying under same roof, tell them i must do what i can to stabilize and head for the bedroom to isolate. if you're on meds, you may have to increase the dosage or possibly return home sooner than the 2 weeks. remember, taking care of you is most important. i couldn't stay w/anyone for 2 weeks, nor could i have anyone stay w/me for 2 weeks.

[pbutton]

What makes the situation stressful? Can you think of ways to change your reaction? Can you think of ways to take time out for yourself and relax?

[BatsAndButterflies]

Accept the fact that they are going to stress you out. If they start to really get to you, try to go to another room, fake a phone call, or say you have to go to the bathroom. This way, you can have a minute to just focus on your breathing and calm yourself down. If you have some sort of token like a coin, or marble you can keep with you to hold on to that would be great. When you get stressed just reach in your pocket and hold it and focus on how it feels in your hand.

[uchiha]

Originally Posted by pbutton

What makes the situation stressful? Can you think of ways to change your reaction? Can you think of ways to take time out for yourself and relax?

Well my in laws and I have never had a good relationship. To behonest, they have always been a source of constant stress. They are well to do people and they have indirectly communicated to me that I do not meet their expectations/standards. Ofcourse they would not directly say that, but drop subtle hints. So, in order to keep things peaceful I pretty much do not speak my mind. I am unable to be myself and that kills me inside. Part of me also believe I should do better and be better. So, part of me agrees with them and another part of me hates myself for agreeing and for them making me feel that way. I don't know if all this makes sense.

I am disgusted with myself for not being comfortable with who I am.
Anyways, I have communicated that I will only stay for about seven days.

Originally Posted by uchiha

Well my in laws and I have never had a good relationship. To behonest, they have always been a source of constant stress. They are well to do people and they have indirectly communicated to me that I do not meet their expectations/standards. Ofcourse they would not directly say that, but drop subtle hints. So, in order to keep things peaceful I pretty much do not speak my mind. I am unable to be myself and that kills me inside. Part of me also believe I should do better and be better. So, part of me agrees with them and another part of me hates myself for agreeing and for them making me feel that way. I don't know if all this makes sense.

I am disgusted with myself for not being comfortable with who I am.
Anyways, I have communicated that I will only stay for about seven days.

It makes sense. There's an old saying about people only being able to make you feel bad about yourself if you let them. Try not to let them.
You and your inlaws have different priorities and criteria for evaluating people.
I don't know yours but I don't agree with your inlaws way. Their daughter thinks you're good enough... that's what matters.

[uchiha]

Suprisenly, the family dinner went well. However, I am getting the cold shoulder from everyone because of my decision to reduce the number of days spent with them. I am trying not to stress over that; I expected that would happen.

It baffled me how they do not see how they constant nagging and negativity can be irritating. Why would anyone want to be around that, much less me. Such behaviors has been going on for years, I have reached the point where I do not care for such things in my life. All if this has made me not want to interact with them and I have always felt guilty--- I am not a good son inlaw. Frankly, now I just don't give a damn. It feels good to say that.

On well, I am off to put on my mask of respectability and composure to have breakfast with the inlaws. Thanks everyone for your suggestions and to listening to me rant