[Maven]

I'm not sure this is the correct forum, or if maybe OCD or General is better. But I can't say exactly what it is I'm anxious and obsessing about, because it's almost surely not acceptable on PsychCentral. At the same time, where does one talk about "taboo" subjects affecting their mental disorders? Religion is one such topic, although what I'm talking about isn't specifically religion...although it could easily be threaded into it, when you get into prophecies and all that.

I have a taboo subject that I obsess about, and it does tie in with religion in my mind, but I don't know how or where to talk about it. Every time I've tried to talk to a shrink, they want to focus only on my OCD, and many issues I've had in life with other people and taboo subjects have gone untouched. I've tried to talk to some people in my life, but because of their views, they don't always help. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don't.

I am also avoiding mentioning specifically what the topic is, because I don't want to upset anyone else, or cause others to obsess. I'm positive there are others, whether here or elsewhere, who worry about this thing as I do. At the same time, I don't like to talk about it. It's frightening to talk about, yet hearing what I want to hear, and having it be true, helps.

The most I'll say right now is, this is something that was provoked by a discussion on Fox News Channel's Hannity & Colmes just a little while ago. I shouldn't have watched, but sometimes I hope to hear info that comforts me, instead of upsets me.

I've got enough stress going on with my anxiety and OCD issues over my disabilities and apartment issues (see the General forum, "Mentally Disabled Persons and Apartments"), and all this is just too much.

[Rhapsody]

Dear Maven,

I am here for YOU if you do wish to discuss the matter in which you speak of in your above post.... I have been at that threshold of a taboo subject or two in my life time and I too had no one I felt I could share it with, let alone dare mention it too.
I promise to offer unto YOU an open ear & mind, that holds no judgement if (and when) you choose to talk - you will have unconditional LOVE.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( SUPPORT ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( LOVE )))))))


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[honey]

You can PM me if you'd like Maven... You description was intentionally vague, but I'm pretty much 'unoffendable' Try your worst.

Honey

[Maven]

Thanks. I'm ok at the moment, but if it comes up in the future (I know it will), I'll PM you guys. Someone else PM'ed me, too. It's not that I worry I'll offend someone, I just don't want to frighten or worsen someone's anxiety or obsessions, too, because this is (to be vague) literally a life-death concern.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

From what I know Maven and I have been around this site...Its safe to say it with a trigger sign....I really feel more people can help and will jump in if they know what it is...and I have heard and seen far more triggering things

Safe hugs

[Maven]

Well, ok, I'll mention what it is without going into detail, and if anyone wants more details, then I'll share more, but if not, that's fine, too. I understand it's scary. And if the post/thread gets pulled, I will understand that, too.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've had a fear of nuclear war. I know everyone fears this, but I get overwhelmed by the thoughts sometimes. On Hannity & Colmes, a guy predicted (a guess, not a psychic prediction, or anything like that) that a terrorist will set off a nuclear bomb in a U.S. city within the next two years.

I have nightmares about nuclear war and the end of the world sometimes. These dreams disturb me, and I try to forget them (as I do with other disturbing dreams), but it's harder to get images out of your head than thoughts. I was raised with Christian beliefs, including things in Revelations about the "End Times" (another thing I obsess about equally...doesn't have to be a nuclear war scenario). I'm no longer Christian, but those thoughts are still there. Other religions and cultures have predictions about the End of the World, which is really what this post is about (not nuclear war, specifically), and that terrifies me.

I know the end of the world isn't literal in some beliefs, as in the world will no longer exist or be mostly destroyed, but it worries me.

There's a prediction, for instance, about the last year and the last pope. I won't say what that year is (yet), so as not to upset anyone. I don't constantly think, Oh, god, we're going to die! when those dates come up...I just become more aware, like pricking up your ears to listen for a dangerous sound. Predicted dates have come and gone, and we're still here; there's comfort in that. So, I don't assume any prediction is correct. I know that many predictions are worded vaguely and can be interpreted in many ways. Of course, some of these have been interpreted to see 9/11 as a sign. I don't know what to think.

I can't seem to stop worrying, even though I try not to. I want to live my life without worrying about something I can't control, but I find any instability can trigger a panic attack. I don't go on rides at amusement parks because the speed scares me; I get thoughts of earthquakes or tremors and worry one will happen and I'll brace myself, worried a quake will start and I'll panic; if I start worrying about having a heart attack or something serious happening, I'll start getting panicky if I don't get control of those thoughts quickly. It's like I have to be in control all the time, which isn't logical if you knew me. I eat like I want to die (well, I am finally getting back to eating healthier), don't exercise, and don't take care of myself.

Well, I'll leave it at that. I have a lot of email to get through and other things to do tonight. Thanks, though.

[Myzen]

Hi Maven

What can I say? I've been there, the whole bag just as you describe it.

The irony with some of our OCD thoughts is not that they are irrational, but that they are very rational!

Most people are able to block out the frightening parts of reality and I think that OCD minds are just unable to block things out, it's as simple as that. The OCD mind is in a state of fear, and there is plenty to be afraid of in this world.

All we can do is gradually desensitize ourselves, by whatever means, so that we can put the realities to one side and live our lives.

Good post.

Peace.

Myzen