Can't Get Over Upsetting People

Sorry if someone posted something similar. I couldn't find it anywhere.

I have a problem, when I make someone upset, I cannot seem to get over it. Especially if it involves customers. I will lose sleep and it will take over my mind until it's resolved or something else happens. The whole "Stop, and think about something else" thing simply does not work for me. No matter how hard I try to think of better things, it creeps back. It stresses me out so bad to know I made someone mad and gave them an unpleasant experience.

It seems, that when I upset someone, they just don't simply go away and never talk to me again. No, they must return time after time after time to remind me of how stupid I am. This isn't one person or a group of people. This is probably where it gets confusing. It's just random people. It's customers from the consignment shop I work at. Mainly, the ones that don't' want to follow contract rules or think they are privileged because another girl I work with let's them do whatever they want, or something out of my hands happen but I'm blamed for it anyway. They always come back with that look of "I'm going to make your life heck". and continue to get me to bend the rules for them and if I ever do I'm always caught and get a nice "talk" from the owner.

The last job I had, same with some customers, returning to get me to bend the rules and risk my job for them. But this time I had co-worker bullying. I was in the running to take the place of a manager when they retired and this didn't go well with one girl. So she gathered a group of employees to go against me and make me quit. It's very complicated and talking to the manager's did nothing since she was a favorite. So I did quit.

Also, some people at the apartments I live in. The maintenance lady got mad at me because my garbage bag ripped while trying to take it out and she yells "I'm not picking that up! I'm leaving a note on your door!" when I was calmly telling her it was an accident and was cleaning it up. Now if she sees me around the complex, she gives me a terrible look like she just doesn't want me there. Same for a few neighbors because I forgot a doggie bag once but they seem to have forgotten that I did come back and picked up my dog's mess. They like to watch me when I take my dog out now. There's no privacy!

So I believe this is why it's hard for me to get over things. Because no one will let me get over things. I dread the next day all the time because I know I have to pay for the mess-ups I've done. I know this may sound ridiculous but I am not over exaggerating these things. I feel like people just see me as someone to vent all their anger and frustration on. I feel like the world's punching bag and they're all out to get me!

I don't want to feel this way anymore. I just want a normal life and be happy. I want to make people happy.

Sounds a little like my working life! Hugs. I've nothing to do if you wanna chat x

Thank you! I would but I have to work today. You can message me anytime though!

I hope work goes ok for you today. X

If you are trying to do the best you can and someome decides to treat you badly because you didn't do what they thought you should do, they have a problem not you. No matter how hard you try there will always be people around who will punish you for whatever you do. And you will always make some people mad. It will never be perfect.

I know, I tell myself that all the time, but it just seems more common for me than others. Like, the customers who are always really sweet and nice to the other employees sometimes end up complaining to me or about me. And the other employees are always shocked because they never see this side of them. And I think "Ok, it's always up to me to be the one to bring out this side of them." Some customers have asked that I don't help them and ask for the older employees.

According to someone, it's because I look way younger than I am and that's why no one takes me seriously. And why they are so harsh on me. Because they don't want to deal with a kid but really I'm 24.

Sounds like me when I was unmedicated....
atleast in my case, I was 10x harder on myself than they were. I also percieved them to be being much harder on me (and of course, assumed they HATED me) when they really weren't being that bad.

If that doesn't make sense I'm sorry- but thats how it was for me.

But let me add, I actually ended up having severe combined adhd. was mistaken for a bad case of GAD for over 2 years....

I have recently been diagnosed with Depression and ADD and began my meds yesterday. I really hope they help out so I can start enjoying life again. That or find a job where I don't have to deal with so many people (and that's hard to find these days).

I really just want to go back to the city I lived in before because I didn't feel this bad there. But maybe I'm just having a hard time adjusting here. The culture is a bit different.

A friend of mine used this technique when he was hassled by several people like the neighbors and the old woman who hollered at you. He made weird faces at them and waggled his rear end at them, danced in place, threw his head back and howled like a wolf, and then said in a normal tone of voice: "I'll give you something to stare at, Peeper-Weeper!" He told me it didn't take long before the people started avoiding him.

As far as the situations at work, you might try this technique: when you get home, write down what happened like it was a story and then write a happy ending.The good thing about this technique is it works for all situations: you can give them all happy endings and at the same time help yourself process what you experienced.

Oh wow, I like that idea! the last part, I'm not sure I'm brave enough for that But that's funny!

I know how you feel and have had the same feelings before. I hate having people upset with me and always feel I have to make it right somehow. I just want you to know you are not alone and others feel the way you do. Hopefully someone can help you resolve this.