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Aug 25, 2012 at 08:17 AM
#1
Hi,
Something that I would like advice on is how to manage the anxiety I have about all the unknowns in my future. It can cause me a significant amount of distress to have all these questions floating around in my mind about my future but not being able to answer them and being unable to form an accurate, workable plan that solves them all, with many of the concerns I have being more than 2 years away from now. I think about… How will I afford a house? Will I find love? Where will I live? Where will I work? Can I also attend school here? How will I afford that? Should I rent or take a mortgage? Should I leave this province or remain in it? What about retirement savings? And the questions keep on coming! Sometimes these questions and the unknowns can keep me awake at night, because I can sit there debating them all and attempting to formulate a plan about how to tackle them. I plan everything! How can I accept and deal with not knowing without the anxiety?  .
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 missbelle, polar_bear1, shortandcute
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 missbelle
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2010
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Aug 25, 2012 at 08:42 AM
#2
Have you heard of mindfulness? It sometimes is offered free in many mental health clinics. It is about staying in the present without looking at the past or the future. It works with meditation etc. There are some good books that amazon.com has, and there is also a workbook that you can purchase.
This actually is nothing new. It just is now a different word. It's simply looking at the day, feeling the wind, enjoying food, taking in the breeze, etc...being in the present. This whole concept came from Buddism. I know, How is that going to help. Well it helps with anxiety. It keeps you focused in the present.You might want to start a journal with your goals, and short term goals. Sometimes writing down things helps us and centers us. You might want to focus also on your anxiety, and what thoughts cause it to sky rocket. All these thing you have concerns about will happen in their own time not yours. You have no control and let things fall where they may.. AA has a slogan "Let go, let God.....also Easy does it". We want to know,, to control, but there is no control...of course there is a little..there is choice but still things happen out of our control and life happens also out of our control(note that this paragraph is not about mindfulness, but my experIence with al-anon, and AA) Definition of mindfulness from Psychology Today "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience" __________________ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich The road to hell is paved with good intentions. "And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper 
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hamster-bamster, muncie
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Location: Northern California
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Aug 25, 2012 at 10:24 AM
#3
I am resigned to the fact that I will have no retirement savings. I have screwed up financially due to bipolar mania and simply bad decision-making. Right now I am just starting to pay off credit cards debts, when I am done, I will resume paying child support, when children are in college, I will have to pay for that (all this assuming that I will have a job) - no place for retirement savings. So I am resigned to the fact that I will live on SSDI when I am old, supplementing that with some tutoring, probably. You are in Canada, I gather, a different situation. I am just describing how one can be resigned to the fact that one will never have retirement savings (and likewise, never own even a condo) and still enjoy her surroundings, good food, good conversation, etc.
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