Hey all, I am a little new to the sight and first time in this forum because I usually hang out in the bipolar forum, but my anxiety and paranoia are the worst of my episodes. Just looking for some insight. I don't leave my house much for anything. I do work, but early when it's night except when I get off in the evening. When I go to the store I usually sit in the parking lot and have a quick drink to calm my nerves before I go in and then by the time I get out I'm so anxious I throw the crap in my car and get moving quick. When I drive down the road I look for cars I know and this is becoming dangerous cause I'm not paying attention. I even saw a car that looked like my ex's and was about to pull in until I noticed it wasn't. I wanted to go to the county fair the other night and told myself it's ok if I see her. We need to talk (because we used to be best friends too). But I let my anxiety and paranoia get the best of me and realized that I don't even know what I would say, or what if she's with someone (which would send me into an episode), or what if she ignores me. So I stayed home. Plus I didn't want to run into other people I know either. I don't go to see family and have no friends, and have dreaded this weekend cause a buddy from work said he would call to go out, but I don't want to. WOW!!!!I do have problems huh?

[Miswimmy1]

It sounds like u definitely have some anxiety going on... Are u medicated for it? I think the 1st thing to do is consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist, since the anxiety is clearly interfering with you ability to function and with your own safety (eg the driving). They can get you started on anti anxiety medication, which can really be of assistance. If you don't want to go the mediation route, then they can assist you with coping strategies such as breathing exercises, etc

[KarriesBaby]

u have the same thing i have, i dont leave my house either i havent seen my family and friends for almost 3 years. On friday i went shopping for the first time in almost 3 years i did great and was suprisingly calm, i just kept saying to myself you are ok and no one is gonna hurt you...it helped me alot. Its very scary getting back into the world again, im scared but im also excited about my new journey to recovery...im here for you and if u ever wanna talk leave me a message...im afraid also of going out and running into people and them saying where have u been? I dont want to have to answer that question but im gonna have to at one point...dont think of it as u have problems u just need someones help right now...im here if you ever need me i know how you feel...take care of yourself

You all are too kind. It's not so much the "where have you been" thing, but the "what happened" thing. And also the meaningless converations that I have no desire to have. Am I really that mean? I wish I could move away and start over.