[Grey Matter]

Just this weekend one of my few friends was put into the hospital for an OD. Today, my best friend ever is in for an extreme allergic reaction. This i sone of my biggest phbias since my brother almsot died this way and i cant talk to anyone and i need someone anyone please

ignore the grammar i cant type right now

[gayleggg]

Welcome to PC. Know that your friends are getting the best care they can. Try to breathe slowly. I understand you are scared and phobias are hard to deal with, but hang in there. I used to have panic attacks so I'm sure you are having similar reactions. I conqured them with pacticed breathing. Count 10 as you breath in and count to 10 as you breath out. continue until you feel calmer.
Wishing you and you friends the best.
Gayle

[Grey Matter]

I am Just so scared im going to lose someone else. I can't do it again. I am trying to breate and calm down but i just can't. I want to but I cant.

[gayleggg]

Sounds like you have lost important people in your life already. I have too and I also have fears of losing people i love. I have to work really hard to not go there in my head. I have a friend that has end stage COPD. I know from losing my mother to the same dease that she doesn't have a pleasant time ahead of her. I have been putting off going to see her because I didn't want to face the fact she might die. I finally went to see her this weekend and it was very hard to face. Unfortunately, we are not in charge of who dies and who lives. We do have to accept what happens, though. You are tough. You can face whatever happens. We have to be strong for those that are sick. I know it is hard but I know you can do it.
Gayle

[Grey Matter]

Thank you, Gayle.
I know how it is to look at death in the face. How it is to see people you love fading from you. The only solace I have from my brothers passing is that I helped give him a good life. I was a good sibling. I took care of him. I can see the smiles in photos. He had a happy life, cut short, but it was happy.

But a friend. It scares me. I am terrified that those I love will all die and I will lose my mind properly. I never fear being alone. I dont fear dying alone. I fear watching those I love die, alone or not. It guts me.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry about the lose of your brother. I know that was hard for you. I'm glad you can see the happy times you had with him and remember him that way. I don't know how bad your friends are right now but like with your brother and just be there for them. If the worst happens you will know you did your best to their friend. I hope they are not in serious condition and recover soon. Take care of yourself in the meantime. Like eat regularly and get some sleep.
gayle