difficulty making decisions - major anxiety

I'm not sure how to help myself make decisions without questioning it and basically analyzing things to death.

For example. Tonight I want to go to spin class, but I don't know if I should do that or the elliptical machine. It's so silly, but the elliptical is at the gym in my apartment building. The spin class is at the town next to me. In addition, it's going to be during rush hour - do I want to drive during the peak of traffic. Also, I haven't been to spin in over a year - I'm going to be so sore. Do I work out steadily for a week and use spin as a reward next week, once I'm accustomed to working out more.

It shouldn't be this hard! I'm at work, and yet all I can think about is what I should do.

FYI - I've talked with my counselor a little about this, but haven't been able to do any real work on it. I don't have any coping mechanism and making a pro/con list only works in the sense that it gets my ideas out on paper, but doesn't help in the decision process. Usually I am so overwhelmed, I don't do either choice (spin or elliptical) because I just give up. It's almost debilitating. HELP!!

I suffer from similar anxiety. Especially when it comes to social interactions. For instance, I might be going out, but at the same time really don't want to. I will dwell on these thoughts days prior to the actual event. In the end you just either got to say to yourself YES. or. NO. And just STICK with it. Although that is sometime's easier than it sounds. Here's a little story.

I liked this girl a lot, but she didn't like me back.
Then I get a text from a friend inviting me to go to a party I knew she would be at.
At first I thought no. way. I will NOT see go, because she will be there, and that will be WAY too awkward, and she will probably think I am stalking her. So her a couple days I didn't reply to my friend's text and just thought to myself no way. I am NOT going to that.
Then that little voice in my head kept saying, hey, this might be a big chance for you to talk to this girl and change her mind about you!
No! It will be TOO awkward!
Life is short! Take chances!
But I don't want to!
I thought you loved this girl?
I DO!
Then act or get over her.
And after a couple of days I texted my friend "Where and when?"
So I end up going, even after TELLING myself no.

Life can be tricky when it comes to decision making so my advice to you is that when it's something trivial and not that important (a bad decision won't effect you too badly) just make a decision and stick with it. My situation was not trivial as if I didn't make this decision to go I might be missing out on a BIG opportunity.

Interesting - did you end up having a good time? Did you date her, etc? Can't leave me hanging bro! lol

I feel like I'm lacking the tools to figure out how to make decisions. I wish there was a book or someone could tell me what to do. I make sense of that stuff. Figuring it out on my own is the tough part.

Maybe I need to get back into counseling. Ugh. I hate doing that though!

yeah, i have problems with making decisions also. i get so nervous about it that sometimes i ignore the situation for so long that it causes me problems. I am seeing a new counselor and a new psychiatrist, and i hope they will help me figure something out.

I would suggest that you look at what needs of yours are met by choosing either. Kind of like a pro-con list? Say, going to spinning class meets your need for ease as well as learning, but going to the elliptical machine meets your need for fitness, meaning, perhaps also a sense that you're capable of the more difficult tasks, and therefore confidence? I'm suggesting that you could see what is more important, in terms of needs, in that moment - not in the long run, because things change. And then choose? Will this work for you, do you think?

Nah, she wasn't even there :/ As for my anxiety that night? Super high. Probably the most anxiety ridden train ride of my life (going to the party). but yeah dude. I might be able to give some advice. just message me if you'd like.

Totally understand what you mean about making decisions. I get so anxious about what will be the best course of action, and what will be the most time-efficient too. I get all anxious about it, like on the way home from work, do I stop at the bank first, or do I go to the grocery, and if I go to the grocery first, I will have to get the food back home then go to the bank, but the grocery is on the way home and the bank is not, so it would save gas to go to the grocery first, but waste time because I could go to the bank first and avoid the extra trip home. This was the simplest "dilemma" I could use...I didn't want to be too lengthy.

I get so troubled over making decisions about even little things, like what to do for dinner. I actually avoid doing new things because it is just easier to not make a decision about it. But I am noticing it makes for a boring, predictable life. But at the same time, I don't want to risk things.

Sorry there is no advice in my post...but you are totally not alone.

As, sorry she wasn't at the party Rolan. I was hoping for a nice love story

I'm sorry you can relate Wolfing. It's a horrible feeling, right? I mean when i explain it to other people, I feel like an idiot bc it seems so simple....to be able to make simple decisions. Just pick one and go with it...that's what my friends say.

I did try and evaluate my decisions like you suggested Bean....this week I used it to decide whether to work outside in the yard or stay inside and watch tv. I ended up working outside and felt great...physically and also that I could get some work done for my parents in their front yard. I just feel like the pros/cons list is so silly for a mundane decision like what to do -watch tv or go outside to mow the law. You know?

I meet with my doc tomorrow. I'm not sure how to describe this to her....

You are certainly not alone. I relate to this 100%. I do this for almost everything. If I seem pretty set on doing something, I will get a bad feeling later on and start weighing my options like you described. I talk myself out of things. I think that is really what it is. Because of the inability to make the decision we are just talking ourselves out of doing anything at all. I have not yet been able to get past this. I have made progress with my counselor in other areas. But you are not alone and I hope you find relief and share your techniques with us.

glad i'm not alone. i call it second guessing myself, or my own judgement. What's worse, people like that, or people that don't think at all and go for it but then regret decisions later.
Is it called indecisive, wishy washy. it's not for everything. I guess we have to learn to trust our own judgement skills :/

I have the same problem to the point where all i do is think about stuff all day and don't do anything! Grrrrrrr

Hope you get through it!

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I'm so glad to find others with decision making anxiety, but it looks like these posts are from some time ago. I would love to see an update from each of you. Most of what I'm finding on the internet is calling this decidophobia but still I've never connected with others with this problem.

After years of counseling and trials of many, many meds, I really haven't made much progress. I can suggest that if you find yourself agonizing over a decision and can convince yourself that no matter what you decide, the result will not be really awful,......then flip a coin (only once and don't change it to two out of three) and then make yourself follow through. See it as your challenge to make the best of the situation that results...no matter what it is. Do your best to turn off the self recriminations (shake your head when you hear them) and tell yourself over and over how well you did. Sometimes you have to look for these little decision opportunities. After awhile, may be you'll handle the bigger ones better.

Instead of waiting for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain...wow, what a motto for anyone suffering a mental illness!!

That's me.

I use to have the the proble. I thought everyone would judge me. If I was not keeping up. Or i thought i would look like a fool. I finally just went it was hard for me to open up at first . But once i did i realized everyone in that room for the ssame reason. Everyone has been super nice and has helped me get though it.