[Lexicon78]

Well, it's back. The chest pain and tightness that I hate. I get it when I am just overwhelmed by things.

I have so much to do (in my book) that I'm finding it very overwhelming right now. I have to find a way to get my rent to the landlord. I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow. I've gotta pay bills. I need to fix my computer, need to find a way to therapy, need to do so many things.

If you looked at my life on a daily basis, you'd wonder what it is that overwhelmed me or whatever. I'm sure of it. But really it is a lot for me.

Here's a list of my daily activities:

Wake up
Turn on computer
Make supper
Do dishes/clean
Answer phone calls
Turn off computer
Go to bed

That's about it. All the while I'm worrying about finances, relationships, people's expectations of me, missing my appointments (due to anxiety), missing the chance to call for transportation to my appointments (due to forgetfulness), fearing going to partial because of my anxiety and thinking I should find another place to get therapy, etc.

I don't go outside. Ever. So the idea of going anywhere puts a lot of fear and anxiety into me. Probably the cause for all my chest pain and tightness right now since I know I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow. Up to 35 people are gonna be there. And I struggle just being around 5 people. I don't know how I'm gonna handle that one.

I even missed my pdoc appointment a couple weeks ago. I'm almost out of meds. Oh well.

i'm sorry, lexie.

[pegasus]

(((((((((((((( Lexicon78 ))))))))))))))))))

Go easy on yourself. Try to do one step at a time.

If going outside is difficult, I try to distract myself as I go. Try not to focus on the anxiety. Personal stereo, take a friend, focus on what is going on around you ie trees , plants, etc.

Reading through your list of daily activities - Your doing quite a bit anyway. How about adding one thing you don't really want to do? ( for example- go outside)

And also add something that you really enjoy as a reward?

Just a couple of ideas, but I know how difficult and frustrating it can be.

Take care.

[Lexicon78]

The thing I enjoy most is being online. I really like interacting with people online, the enjoyment from researching various topics (I have to admit, I'm an information addict!), and supporting others on the various sites I go to. Actually most of the day is spent online...and night too. My family and even my friends say I spend too much time online but they don't realize that pretty much all my interactions with people and interests are easily obtained online. Most people like hanging out with friends, watching tv, etc. Well, I can do that online. All my friends are online and I only watch documentaries on tv...so I think the internet and the computer are quite a necessity for me.

I could do little things that I don't enjoy...maybe going to partial once in awhile??? I have to do it soon or they'll be calling my house for sure. Either way, I've gotta go. That's something I really do not like doing at all.

Thanks pegasus.

[CompGeek]

why don't you go outside.... Do you not have the time for it or is it that you do not want to go outside.... It is not uncommon for people with panic disorder to develop ogoraphobia... Not that I am saying that you have panic disorder.... just a question...

[Lexicon78]

I don't like to go outside...it's not safe.