Worried

Alright, so I'm kind of a worrier by nature. It would stand to reason that I would have to be; I'm all by myself in the world: I have no family around me, really. My immediate family and I don't speak and my aunts and uncle all live out of state. The closest they ever come to me is saying, "Hello," via Facebook once in a great while or sending cards on holidays. I don't have any really close friends, none who would take care of me should anything really bad happen to me. So I worry about things. But I've recently started worrying a lot more. I don't know why, maybe it's because I turned 35 a week ago and kind of started thinking about my future--retirement, who will take care of me in my old age, and even death.

I'm scared. There are little things that I think about in the present like, what if something happens to my cats? Or on a bigger scale, what if something happens to my car or my apartment? What if something happens to me right now and I need help? I think about the future...who is going to be there for me in the future? It is looking very much like I'll never have a significant other. Who will make decisions for me if I can't? What if I end up just lying alone in a nursing home? I just...there are so many things running through my head right now and I don't know where they're coming from but they're pushing my anxiety through the roof and I wish I had answers. I'm just scared for myself. My T says that it sounds like I'm just very lonely and I suppose that's right; I am very alone. My best friend says that I need to make a list of the things that I do have right now: my apartment, my job, my car, my health...but those things could be gone in an instant, you just never know. It makes me scared to think about. And then what would I do? I have no savings safety net. I have no safety net whatsoever.

I don't expect you guys to have answers. I just needed to talk, and maybe to know that someone else understands how I feel.

I do understand. I seem to worry about things all the time, like even just stupid things, like what my work schedule will be next week so I can plan T session, or if the trouble I am having breathing is because of anxiety or if it's my allergies, or if I am having a heart attack. I also live alone, and I fear that if I slipp[ed and fell in the shower, or passed out, or something, no one would know I was gone. It's very scary and a very real thing to be worried about...I hear you.

I understand. I worry my head off about this kind of stuff to. I worry on a small scale and on a large scale. I even worry about worrying. I can hear the worry in your words too. It sounds like you are feeling a lot of anxiety with all this fretfulness. I can really relate. Do you have a doctor or therapist you can talk to?? Do you take meds for anxiety?? Do you employ any relaxation techniques such as meditation or mindfulness?? They're all over the internet. There are also websites that use self-help cognitive behavioral therapy to help you overcome anxiety. Anxietybc.com is one my doctor recommended to me. Distraction is a really good way to get your mind focused on something besides your worries; I try to do logic and math puzzles to get me thinking of anything but my worries, or I do something different like walk my dog. These are techniques I was taught by a psychologist. Try some of them, and see if you find them helpful. I was told to get out of where you are and into a whole new atmosphere when you are fretting as you will not fret once removed from your 'worry zone'. Good luck to you, and take care. Also, feel free to message me anytime. I'll be thinking of you.

Yes you are worried about the future see. Its not present moment. What if this or that happens. Life is here now in the present moment. All our fears and worries are future thought forms that do not exist, but only in our minds. You can overcome this by becoming fully present. The power of now. Be still. Calm oceans.

I hate this happened to you and hope you
resolve it