[Dezdemona]

I'm really anxious today. Well, actually, I seem to be bouncing from manic-like to anxious and back again. It seems like EVERYTHING is happening this month;

My T is gone until the end of next week, so I have not had any counselling since almost two weeks ago. I'm meeting a new shrink next week.

I'm going to the Ottawa Pride Festival...alone, since I dont have anyone to go with. I would rather go alone than not at all. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to handle this emotionally. Its not the depression I'm worried about...its the anxiety!

My grandparents are staying with us for a night, and they're very ignorant when it comes to homosexuality/lesbianism...you get my point. I hate dealing with ignorance! I cant stand it! It makes me so anxious and angry.

I want my T back!

[(JD)]

What would you want your grandparents to know about homosexuality, that you believe they don't understand? Are they outwardly critical of you? Are you outwardly displaying your personal preferences? Rhetorical questions, if you like.. sometimes reframing the questions and answers helps us to not be so anxious.

[Bethsway]

Hang in there Dezdemona...therapist will be back soon...and you know you are really a brave person because I could never go to a festival by myself...too scared...lol Hope you enjoy...have a good time!

[Dezdemona]

(((((Bethsway))))) Thanks!

Sky, no they're not outwardly critical of me. I think its more the idea of "well, how do you know if you've never been with a man?" Dang that really ticks me off! My uncle was actually the one to ask that. You guys dont have to be with someone of your own gender to know that you're straight, right? Why should it be different for us? Its the whole double-standard thing that just drives me into an anxious rage.

Plus, my uncle, who's coming down with them, likes making really bad gay jokes. I know that he's looking to get me going, but it really isnt funny. I cant just ignore him.

[heartspace]

Dezdemona, I guess they've thought you'd grow out of it, huh? Hey, I have a lesbian friend who has been with her partner for nearly ten years. Anyway, we were friends before then, and I remember her mother thinking that she'd grow out of it, and secretly (or not-so-secretly) wishing my friend would find the right man.
Anyway, years on, she has accepted that her daughter is gay, and embraced my friend's partner as part of the family. People's attitudes can change. So there's hope for you and your family
Sorry to hear about your uncle, though ... I reckon he'd be difficult to deal with. Try and stay out of his way when he's around.
Have fun at the Pride Festival. Perhaps when you're there, you can investigate some support and social groups for lesbians.

[AngelwithOCD]

(((((Dezdemona)))))

I'm sorry that you are feeling like this right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to PM me if there is anything that I can do for you.

Hugs,
Angel

[Dezdemona]

Thanks, Angel. (((((Angel)))))

I'm feeling a little better today. As it gets closer, I've been getting more excited! I'm meeting my new PDOC on Thursday. Then on Friday, they are raising the Pride flag at city hall, as the opening of the Pride festival. I'll be going! I didnt get to go to the Flag Raising ceremony last year unfortunately, so this will be a first!