Too anxious to go out

For the past few years I have been having a problem with going out on my own or living a productive personal life because of anxiety. I've always been shy but lately I feel like I've lost all of my friends. I always accept invitations to do things with friends but almost always change my mind at the last minute because of anxiety. I sign up for lessons or classes but never end up going. I'm 32 and have been alone for two years because I have problems socializing with people. I'm starting to get worried I will spend the rest of my life at home if I keep this up. Any suggestions?

Hello, ASethi and welcome! Do you think you can get up the strength to see a counselor? Some people have had some success with medications.

You will need to get out of your comfort zone, of course. But you can also get help with suggestions and support. I agree that if you don't get help, then you will likely be stuck by yourself for the duration.

Welcome. You are moving in the right direction by identifying the problem and looking for solutions.

When my anxiety was at its peak a number of years ago, I also dropped out of life for a while (I even quit work for a time). I made commitments I didn't keep, then felt lousy for doing so. It only made matters worse and put an even bigger dent in my low self-esteem.

I knew life could be better because at one time it had been for me. It was sink or swim and so I decided I wanted to get better. I did lots of things like medication, counseling, reading self-help books, etc. The best thing I did was to join a support group (Co-Dependents Anonymous) and get a sponsor. None of it was easy but all of it was worth it. Today, I am back to work, socializing, traveling, etc.

This is just one person's story but I suppose the moral is I finally learned it was up to me to get better.

Sorry, no suggestions because I'm going through basically the same thing, but I wanted to tell you what seems to be my new catchphrase on PC: you are not alone! By the way, with your anxiety being that bad, it sounds a bit like you qualify as being "disabled" in a similar manner as I am, at least here in the UK, so I hope you get the appropriate support; the support, financial and otherwise, has been incredibly helpful for me. Essentially, you'll want to get some help, but I do fully understand how difficult that is, because if you're so anxious you can't go out, then how can you go out to get help? It's an enigma, but it can be alleviated with some support from friends or family, and determination to make a change. Personally, I find anxiety can sometimes hold you a prisoner, but there are in-fact no bars; you can escape anytime you like. That's my analogy anyway, which is probably flawed, but I like it. :P One thing I recommend, is to use what you have: the Internet. You have so many sources online for ways to deal with anxiety, support groups (if you can get to them), places like these (generally for support, not as a treatment), and the ability to E-Mail people such as your Doctor, if it's allowed where you are. If not, you can probably write a letter; over here, I sent a letter to my GP for the same or similar reasons to yours, and I found it very helpful; the letter has been used a few times as reference and saves me a lot of hassle. [: I'm almost 27, by the way, and wonder whether I'll be at home for the rest of my life, too, especially alone. I don't even have my own place because of the anxiety linked to getting that sorted, plus some other things, such as waiting lists, finding a decent place, my other MH issues blah blah blah digressing blah blah blah.

Best of luck to you and please remember "You are not alone!"

you're not alone, i have daily fears of going places or joining new groups or teams because i'm afraid and scared and i think that people will not like me and i will not fit in. honestly when i do push myself and do get out of the house, i feel much better being around people. once you get back in the house it is almost as hard as the first time to keep getting out and being social, but you just have to keep pushing yourself to keep going and convince yourself that everything will be alright, and that you will have fun, and after a while, you will feel more comfortable, and things will get better,

Best of luck