[Hellion]

Does anyone else do this? I feel like that is one issue I have when pursuing treatment like therapy or whatever else. I guess its hard for me to actually say I feel like I'm going to die or something bad will happen when I am feeling the anxiety.

I mean right now my depression diagnoses seems to be what mental health professionals end up focusing on...but I think the anxiety and PTSD I suffer from is the bigger issue, its just hard for me to communicate about my anxiety symptoms. I mean if I was having an intense feeling of impending doom, I might tell the therapist I am just a little anxious. I just don't understand why I can't be more open about that so I can maybe get more help for those symptoms.

I mean I guess maybe it goes back to just trying to hide any weakness so people couldn't use it against me...I got picked on a lot as a child so I kind of developed that habit but now I need to get rid of it at least when dealing with people who mean to help.

[navygerm84]

I know that I do the same thing. Almost like if I admit to how bad my anxiety makes me feel that it becomes reality. I dont want people, even a therapist, to judge me because how fear inducing life can really be. I know that a lot of things that set my anxiety off is not rational for me to feel that way, causing a logic versus emotion debate in my head. I try to talk myself out of how I feel instead of admit to it.

[BlessedRhiannon]

It took me a very long time to admit that my anxiety was as bad as it was. Once I did, though, and was able to get treatment for anxiety rather than all the things that it was causing (depression, odc, ed, etc) I started to see major progress.

I think what helped was deciding to trust my therapist enough that I slowly stopped hiding my extreme anxiety. For me, anxiety has always been more the physical reactions than mental, so it took a huge amount of trust to stop hiding those physical reactions. It helped that my T is super perceptive and noticed even the small signs of anxiety. When I felt I could be really honest about it, my T asked if I'd be willing to take a psychological assessment test - I did, and seeing that anxiety score sitting at the very top of the chart really finally hammered home to both of us how much I was suffering.

For me, that level of anxiety was normal! I honestly didn't know what it would feel like to not be anxious, and when I did start to see some relief, I was actually a little anxious about not being anxious. Just recently, my T commented on how much distance I have from my anxiety now, and what a huge improvement she's seen.

ETA: And, yes, I was picked on a lot as a child and am used to hiding anything that might be a weakness that could be used against me. Also, my feelings of anxiety were always dismissed (oh, everyone gets nervous, you'll be fine, etc) so I just didn't see any point in saying anything or displaying any physical symptoms...it wasn't going to do me any good anyways

[Hellion]

It feels like when I am able to admit it, sometimes it doesn't get taken seriously because I don't seem anxious enough or whatever. I am used to hiding it around people or at least trying to I end up not being very convincing.

I mean I do say I have a lot of anxiety and struggle a lot with it generally, but if I am feeling very anxious in therapy or something then I probably would be masking it out of habit and wouldn't say quite how anxious I feel. Uhh its just frusterating more than anything but I guess I just need to try and remind myself its ok to feel how I feel and I am probably not going to get made fun of by my therapist if I expose how anxious I really am.

Hi Hellion, I can relate to that.. And yes it's absolutely ok to say how you feel. That's what a therapist is for.
I downplay it because of the experience I made when opening up to others about it. For instance when I tried to tell people close to me about how I felt, I was told to not exaggerate, because it was just a feeling and not a 'real' illness. They thought I was looking for attention, when in fact I was distressed. Those reactions made me ashamed of myself for sharing about how much it affected me. Now I know that other people who haven't experienced the level of anxiety that I have can't possibly imagine how bad it is. I can be open with my pdoc at least. It might help if you write down how you feel during anxiety and read that to your therapist.

[avlady]

its weird when you have an anxiety attack, as I know it, as I can't even begin to verbalize the attack to let someone know i'm having one. I think people don't mean to say suck it up but they just don't know how it feels to have an attack. therefore i think they are ignorant as to what's happening to you or me.

[Piraeus]

My Mom does that to me. When I tell her I'm feeling a lot of anxiety, she doesn't believe me. She keeps one of my anxiety pills in her purse for emergencies. That usually works.
I know she doesn't mean to be that way. She just doesn't understand. I have been trying to hide my anxiety around people lately. I just don't want to get a bad reaction.
Mom seems to be able to tell when I have anxiety now.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Oh mah Gawd, yes, mememe, I do, I do, I do! xD *raises hand*

Glad I'm not the only one. Only in the last year or two have I started to make it clear how severe it is, thus the disability label, government financial support, increased mental health support, etc. I suggest you work on coming out with just how bad it is, because if you're struggling, you're struggling, and you can put strawberries on a turd, but guess what - you guessed it - it's still a turd. :P

Best of luck to you.

P.S
They can't help you properly if you don't give them all the info; some of them seem to need a kick up the bum, and you telling them the true score is said kick. [:

[A.T.Student]

I don't know about purposefully downplaying. When I talk to my T she always asks how my anxiety has been during the week. I usually "downplay" my anxiety because a high level of anxiety has always been present for me. I mean what might rate as a 5 for some people (5 being high) might rate as a 2 for me. I've become accustomed to it and its discomfort. It is a way of being for me.

[Odee]

I've downplayed my own anxiety to myself. I did not acknowledge the panic attacks for what they were and I thought that my worries was from the lack of self esteem brought from my depression. I just did not understand that the weirdness and fear that I had been experiencing was anxiety. Lately the talk with my PDoc was that the depression is probably a result of the anxiety, and I have gained so much more insight towards telling when I am feeling anxiety.